What She Didn't See
by VampireGaaraCheesepuffs
Summary: Even Alice can’t see everything, but could the few things she didn’t see put the life of someone they love in jeopardy? Can the Cullens save Bella from herself? BxE Set during New Moon Rated for language, non-graphic rape, cutting, and more...
1. Voice of Danger

**Disclaimer- Didn't write New Moon, so I don't own it.**

**Warnings for this chapter: Rape (not really graphic or anything) and language (Hey this is rated M for a reason!)**

**Song for this chapter: That's what you get by Paramore **

**Prologue: Voice of Danger**

_Bella_

_~*~_

_I gave myself to_

_Danger so that I could hear_

_His voice one more time._

_~*~_

I stood there, in the middle of a dark alley next to a bar, between Jessica and the maybe men that had cornered me on a similar night not even a year ago when I heard _him_.

My first thought was that I'd lost my mind. I doubted that though, because if you realize that you're crazy…are you really crazy? Isn't that too logical to be considered crazy? Or perhaps I could be crazy even though I knew it. I shook those thoughts from my head seeing no point of making myself confused.

The other possibility was I was projecting what I wished to hear, not what I actually heard. The voice was soothing me, telling me to go back to Jessica, something he would have done if he was actually here. It made perfect sense that I wished he was here to save me, to be the hero once again. Though this choice was less likely than the insanity theory, I hoped this one was true. To test it I took another step forward,

"Bella, turn around!"

I smiled to myself, perhaps I was right, and I was just pretending hewas saving me again. Against my better judgment, I yelled to Jessica over my shoulder.

"No really Jessica, go ahead and eat. I'll catch up a little later."

Jessica still hesitated. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other, her eyes darting from me to the restaurant, then back again. I could tell she'd do as I told her, she was scared out of her mind. Who knew what these obviously drunk men were capable of, but it wasn't hard to guess. Any girl would be walking at top speed away from them, rushing to safety, but I seemed to be the exception.

I wasn't suicidal as I had told her earlier, but I wanted, no, needed to hear his voice. My body craved for the musical sound I had grown accustomed to when he had been here. If I didn't take this opportunity now, who knows if I'll ever get the chance to hear it ever again?

Sure enough, I heard a weak "okay," and louder slaps from her sneakers on the rough concrete, as she quickly walked, no ran, off without bothering to look back at me. I waited until her steps where out of hearing distance before I moved forward again.

_His _voice was loud in my head, questioning my sanity, and demanding I run as far away from the men as possible as I walked over to them. Outside my head, I heard another voice.

"Hi. Can I help you with something? You look lost." One of the men grinned and winked.

"No. I'm not lost."¹ I replied, walking closer until I was merely five feet from the group.

I felt a pang in my heart. It wasn't them. In front of me was a group of strangers, but they weren't the same strangers from before. Now that I was closer to them, I realized that they looked nothing like the men from before. The voice in my head was quieter, as if knowing now that I had found out it wasn't them, I'd stop this insanity. He was still pleading that I run for it, scream for Jessica, anything, but his voice was so weak in my head it made me too sad to respond. If anything, I wished there was more danger.

"Well then, you must have come over for some kind of help."

I'd been so preoccupied with _his_ voice, that I hadn't noticed the men had moved until I was surrounded. The man who was talking was only an inch away, and I could smell the stale stench of alcohol on his breath.

"Oh, I can guess what she came over for." Another man said from behind me as he placed a rough hand on my bare arm making me shiver. My wish for danger was backfiring on me.

_His _voice had gotten louder again, and the situation plus his snarling was making me lightheaded and dizzy. What's more the stranger's hot breath on my neck made the hairs on my arm stand straight up, and made bile rise in my throat.

My own conscience was screaming at me now, telling me to fight, to at least _attempt_ to run away, anything but stand here and do nothing. But I was rooted to spot, utterly helpless with fear.

"Well maybe we should help her then," another voice, huskier than the previous ones said from my side.

Finally, even though I'd know from the start what could happen, it finally sunk in. If I didn't move I was going to be raped by these men. I'd lose the one thing me and my Greek god shared, the only thing I felt I could give to him that he didn't already have.

My mouth opened to scream, but the man behind me clamped a rough hand onto my mouth.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. And I thought you were going to be a cooperative whore."

"Hey, I like it when they struggle anyway." There was a chorus of whoops of agreement from the other two men, and I took this chance and bit the hand covering my mouth.

"BITCH!" I heard the hard slap across my face, before I felt it. The shock wore off soon enough though, and my face felt as if a bunch of needles had been thrown at it. Edward's voice snarled inside my head, and I smiled despite the pain.

I could finally say his name without breaking down. At what could be the last moments of my life, I was whole. My heart rose in my chest at the thought that Edward's voice might be the last voice I had heard before I died.

"Ohhh, see, the slut likes pain. Don't worry babe, there'll be lots of that."

My head snapped to the side when I was slapped again causing both cheeks to turn pink and sting with pain. The men around me laughed. For the first time, I tried to scream, but a pair of lips crashed against my own, smothering the sound. I could feel the man who was kissing me pushing me deeper into the alley, behind the bar, and no matter how I struggled, I couldn't get away.

Hot tears streamed down my face, but my sobs were ignored by the mouth encasing my own. My back eventually hit brick as I was shoved roughly against a wall. The plaster was cracked and sharp, making me cringe as it dug into my back.

The man on top of me moaned, his hands which had been holding down my arms moved to my sides, rubbing up and down my body. With my arms free, I brought them up and started hitting him with all my might, and bit down on the man's lip, HARD. Instead of being angry, or letting me go like I'd wanted, the man chuckled, and let go of my lips only long enough to say, "Feisty!"

Again, my lips were taken in an unwanted kiss. I shut my eyes tight, trying to imagine being somewhere else, or with someone else. Then I felt something cool against my neck. My eyes snapped opened, and I saw it was a pocket knife. The man stopped kissing me, his lips moving instead to my ear.

"Now, why don't you take off your shirt sugar, or else I'll have to cut it off." He stepped away from me, arms distance, but kept the knife on my neck.

Hesitantly, I followed his orders, a new wave of sobs wracking my body. As I brought the shirt over my head, the men catcalled and whistled.

"Pants too, sweetie." My hands were shaking, making it hard to get the button of my jeans undone. Eventually, they joined my shirt on the dirty ground, leaving me in nothing but my bra and panties, exposed to not only the night air, but the men's hungry eyes.

Soon as they were off, the man was on me again, one arm holding my hands above my head, the other holding a knife to my side.

"Are you a virgin baby?" I nodded slowly, seeing no point in lying now. The man's grin was sinister. "Good, I haven't fucked a virgin in a looooong time."

I was choking on my sobs, but I somehow managed to say Edward's name one last time, because the man then asked: "What the fuck is Edward? Your _boyfriend_?"

As much as I wanted to say yes, I could only shake my head, making the group laugh again. The man with the knife punched me hard in the gut, making me double over in pain.

"Good, cuz I don't want to have to deal with no fucking physco boyfriends." My groan was my only reply, both from the pain and from my stupidity.

I wasn't suicidal. Even in the beginning, when death unquestionably would have been a relief, I didn't consider it. ¹

But I was beginning to wonder if I wanted to come out of this encounter alive.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Finally, finally, they were done. I curled my legs into my body, my arms wrapped around my chest trying to cover myself. The men laughed from above me.

"Look at her, all balled up like a used, dirty burger wrapper." The man lowered himself, his voice right in my ear.

"Because that's what you are: Used, Dirty, and Worthless. No one wants you, no one wanted you in the first place. You're just a piece of shit for people to use as they please. There's no such thing as love, and whoever that fucking Edward guy was I bet he just wanted to fuck you."

I cringed at the use of _his _name. Now that I was sure they were going to leave me alive, the name just brought me more pain. After giving me one last kick in the back, I heard the men walk away, laughing until they were out of earshot.

My eyes were squeezed shut, and my entire body was shaking. Using all the strength I had left I crawled back to my clothes, and put them back on. Somehow, I made it to my feet, and though I had to lean onto the wall for support, I was standing. I took a tentative step, and gasped when pain shot from between my legs.

Biting my lip, I took the pain, and walked off to find Jessica. No one would ever know what happened if I could help it.

**From New moon by Stephanie Meyer**

**Hence the beginning of "What she didn't see". Press that review button PWEASE *puppy eyes***


	2. Oblivious Death

**Disclaimer- **Don't own Bella, don't own New Moon, because last I checked: My name wasn't Stephenie Meyer *rolls eyes*

**Warnings:** Cutting, suicide attempt, references of rape

**Songs for this chapter: **How far we've come by Matchbox 20 or Welcome to My life by Simple Plan (pick which one you like better XD)

**THANK YOU TO ALL WHO HAVE REVIEWED!!! : **.lucy, missbellaswan, kuntrygal, and Katering XD

**THANKS ALSO to all whom favorited/story alerts!!!**

**Chapter 1: Oblivious Death**

_Bella_

_~*~_

_Are you really this_

_Oblivious, or do you_

_Just wish that you were?_

_~*~_

I hesitated while opening the car door. Charlie was waiting on the porch, and was walking over this very second. This was my last chance, if I acted fast I could swing open the door and run for it. My hand was midway through opening the door when it occurred to me I'd just trip anyway.

Klutzy Bella, couldn't even run on a flat surface without falling on her face. If I couldn't even do that right, what could I do right? Nothing seemed to be the answer. I'd lost everything in the last few months, or at least everything that mattered.

I was so caught up in my thoughts of making a break for it, I was surprised by Charlie's voice at the truck window.

"Billy called. He said you got in a fight with Jake—said you were pretty upset," he explained as he opened my door for me.

Then he looked at my face. The kind of horrified recognition registered in his expression. My face felt empty and cold, and I realized what it would remind him of. ¹

Instantly I knew I'd dropped my façade for too long. Quickly, I replaced my mask, and tried to repair the damage my slip up had caused.

"It wasn't really a fight Ch-Dad. A minor disagreement really." I tried to smile at the end, but it died as soon as it graced my lips.

Charlie's eyes narrowed, though I could tell he didn't really want to push me, his curiosity was getting the better of him and he was dieing to question me.

"Does this have anything to do with Sam Uley?"

I stared at him blankly for a second. I'd completely forgotten I'd told him about Sam and the cult that I was sure existed now.

"What? No."

"Bells—"

"Seriously Dad, no. It was just a little heated argument, we'll be _friends_" I choked on the word, unable to believe that that's what we had been mere hours before, "by tomorrow. I'm sure of it."

Without looking at his face I walked into the house, and up the stairs.

"Bells, where are you going?"

"I'm tired, I'm going to turn in early, okay?" I was already closing the bathroom door shut behind me when I heard his weak okay.

I leaned against the cold wooden door, the brass doorknob sticking into my side. Slowly I turned the knob and locked myself in. Even slower, I walked to the mirror, scared of what would be in that reflection.

Sure enough, I crumbled. The girl in the mirror was a shell of what I remember being. My heart shaped face was gaunt, and paler than it had ever been before. My cheeks were sunken into my face and I had dark circles my eyes, making me look like a ---. I couldn't even think that word without being reminded of him.

My brown hair was tangled and windswept from being down at La Push, my bangs had grown out a little more and now covered my lifeless chocolate eyes.

Memories of _him_ telling me how my eyes used to tell him how I was feeling, though he couldn't read my mind, bubbled from the cage I'd locked them in at the far end of my mind. That was the last crack my well built dam could take. Thoughts and memories of him and his family flooded my mind. Memories of happier times brought nothing but pain and disgust, because I knew how they'd all end.

With me in the dirt, my angel speaking words of hatred above me. Only now it was worse than ever before. Images from a mere hour before haunted my mind. Jacob, my sun, the one happiness I happiness I had left in this world, was screaming at me, breaking my heart as he told me we were never to see each other again.

I felt another stab in the heart. What was I suppose to do without him? He had sewn what was left of me back together after _his _departure and after what _they_ had done. When I was sure I wasn't going to be able to make it through the storm, he was my lighthouse. Without him, I was broken, shipwrecked upon the rocks. Without my sun, there was only darkness.

Sobs began to wrack my body as I undressed and stepped into the shower. I turned on the water, not minding the freezing water that hit my skin in small, sharp pellets. Showers had always been a time where I could calm down, and think things over. Right now however, it did little to help ease my pain.

I'd lost everything, my love, my family, my best friend. Now that I thought about, it's no surprise no one wants me. I was dirty, used, _mortal_. There was nothing special about me, I was just another nameless girl in the crowd. I'm lucky to have even had them while I did. I'd gotten countless moments of happiness, of peace, now I was over staying my welcome.

I looked down at my arms. I hadn't noticed that the water had turned warm, but my arms had turned red from the blistering hot water. Instead of turning it lower, I grabbed the soap and began to scrub my arms.

"_Time heals all wounds for your kind."¹_

The memory, his voice, so clear in my mind, I could feel the cool earth beneath me, could feel the wet soil seep into my jeans and feel it stuck beneath my fingernails. A small chuckle escaped my lips. My angel may know a century's worth of knowledge, but he didn't know how wrong he was about this, about me.

I scrubbed at my arm relentlessly. How I wished I could heal the wounds the world had dealt to me, to just scrub those memories from my mind. To be as strong as he'd thought I was, instead of the weak, pathetic excuse for a human that I was.

"_I'm sorry Bella."¹_

No, I'm sorry Jacob. You are right, you deserve better than me, you deserve more. No wonder why you left, no wonder why _he _left. I scrubbed harder, raking my skin with my fingernails, leaving small white tracks up and down my arms from the scratches.

"_No one wants you, no one wanted you in the first place."_

Another laugh fell from my lips. Even nameless strangers knew no one would want me. Of course what they did to me only broke me more. I looked down at my arms, specks of red had appeared on them, having pierced my skin with my sharp, jaged nails. An idea came to mind.

My razor sat at the edge of my bathtub, razor blades facing upwards catching the florecent light's rays making the blades shine. They were begging for me to grab them and put them to my soft flesh.

I'd never been suicidal. Cutting, on the other hand, had come to my mind a couple of times before, but my promise not to do anything stupid or dangerous was always at the back of my mind. Last I'd checked, cutting was both stupid AND dangerous. So, in the end, I'd always chicken out or stop myself last second, but after recent events, would I be able to resist temptation?

Slowly I picked up the razor, rolling the handle in the palm of my hand. The metal was cold and smooth, much cooler than the water that continued to scorch my skin. Carefully, I brought it down to my wrist. The blades were sharp against my skin, and a shiver of both excitement and fear went down my back. I was about to add pressure, when I remembered: Charlie.

My breath caught in my throat. What if he came to check up on me and caught me? While struggling to remember how long I'd been in the shower for, I strained my ears to hear him downstairs. I heard a whistle and cheering coming from the living room, making me sigh with relief. He was watching a game, he's totally forgotten about me. Just as oblivious as always.

Without a second thought, I pushed the razor hard against my wrist and sliced. I took in a sharp breath. The pain was excruciating, and made my head spin. For a second it was all I could concentrate on, and that brought a smile to my lips.

No more thoughts of Jacob, no more thoughts of those men, no more thoughts of Edward. The thought of his name brought back the pain, and my peace was short lived. Before I could think against it, I switched the razor to my other hand and slit my other wrist, and basked in the following euphoria known as pain.

My spinning head caught my attention, and when I looked down I saw why. Blood was gushing from both of my wrists, running down my hand, and dripping down the drain. The once white bathtub was stained red, and the smell made me sick to my stomach. My knees were starting to give way, so I slowly lowered myself into a sitting position.

I sat there a few more seconds, watching the blood drip from my wrists, mixing with the still running water, resulting in a pinkish liquid that then flowed down the drain. With a startling realization, I noticed I was losing too much. Panic set it, but when I tried to my hand, it merely twitched. Scared, I tried moving my legs. They moved awkwardly, and out of my control, as the slid back and forth on the wet surface of the bath floor.

My mouth opened to scream, but there was no sound. I was trapped, in a bathtub stained with my blood, unable to move or scream.

I was going to die.

**¹ = From New Moon by Stephanie Meyer!**

**That concludes the first chapter of "What she didn't see". Please review, but no flames! Chap 3 is in the making JUU!!! ; P**


	3. If Vampires Could Cry

**Disclaimer- **Don't own New Moon, because if I did I'd sure as heck wouldn't be posting my story on the internet!!!

**Warnings for this chap- **some sexual innuendos and language. This chap is not as serious as the other ones ; P

**Songs for this chap- **Serious song: Eyes to see by Flyleaf. Random song: Boom Boom Boom by the Vegaboys XD

**THANKS TO **_missbellaswan, L. Lockheart, ErinCullen, and Katering : P_

**ALSO THANKS TO ALL WHO FAVORITE THIS STORY OR ADD IT TO THEIR STORY ALERT LIST!**

**Chapter 2: If vampires could cry**

_Alice_

_~*~_

_How could you do this?_

_We hurt you, but it couldn't _

_Be this bad, could it?_

_~*~_

Thank god for the internet. Without it, I'm sure I'd commit suicide.

If a vampire even CAN commit suicide, I've never tried and I don't really know anyone who has either. I suspect it'd be pretty hard, and I doubt we could do it by ourselves. Unlike humans who die so easily, it takes a bit of effort to kill a vampire.

Denali's a great place for vampires to live, you know. Lots of animals, few nosy humans, but there are quite literally no stores! The sad outlet of stores they call "downtown" is a disgrace, and in no way should be considered downtown. I swear if it weren't for online shopping, I'd have lost my mind by now.

Unintentionally, I flinched. After finding out that I'd spent the last part of my short life locked in a small, dark cell in an insane asylum, sent there by my family no less, I was a bit touchy about the thought of insanity. Still, even if my life wasn't a great one, by any means, I'm glad I now know what happened to me before the change. I'd still be wondering who had changed me and why they left if it weren't for Bella.

My mood turned sour. Bella was even a touchier subject than insanity for anyone in this family. None of us were allowed to see her (that included visions of her to me), talk to or about her, or even _think_ about her. If Edward was here, he'd be throwing a temper tantrum because I'd brought up her name in my mind, though it was only in passing.

But Edward wasn't here, in fact, no one knows _where_ he is.

Well, I do, but I'm not supposed to, he directly told me I wasn't to see where he was. It was only by "accident" that I saw him somewhere in Texas about now. Really, if he wasn't tearing apart our family by being away, I wouldn't even care that he wasn't here. I was still mad at him. Actually, pissed is a better word to describe how I've felt about him lately. After all this is all his fault, he screwed everything up.

First he comes in, demanding we all leave forks and never speak to Bella again. Next, he breaks Bella's heart, and lies about not loving her, only making them both suffer. And as if that wasn't bad enough, he doesn't even stay with us! He runs off to catch Victoria, or so that's excuse. In reality he just wants to wallow in self pity and be left alone with his delusional ideas of right and wrong without certain people interrupting him with thoughts of just how wrong he really is.

Bella was my best friend, my second sister, where does he get the idea that he gets to make all the decisions? How arrogant can he be?!

I saw what his words did to her, how much they broke her, I even tried showing him what would happen if he went through with it. But he didn't care, "It's for her own good," were his exact words.

What a load of bullshit. After that, Edward made me stop looking into her future, but I already saw the damage that would be done. I doubt she'll ever be the same again.

Arg, if Edward was right about one thing, he was right when he said he was selfish!

I sighed, and rubbed my forehead. Thinking about Edward and Bella was putting a damper on my mood AND my plan. My conniving grin returned to my face when I thought of my brilliant plan. I'd seen this opportunity weeks ago, and I'd been anxiously waiting ever since.

Edward wasn't the only one not here. With all the tension in the house, Rosalie decided she wasn't going to stay here and went to Africa with Emmett. Carlisle, Esme, and the Denali clan also happened to be gone today, having decided to go hunting. Earlier in the week, I had forced Jasper to go hunting with me so we didn't have to join them now.

That just left me and Jasper…all alone.

The house here in Denali isn't small by any standards. After all, it usually houses up to about 12 vampires at any given time, and comfortably might I add. But even while it may be spacious, there's no such thing as privacy here.

That's another reason Rosalie and Emmett left. Tanya loves to talk about certain "noises" that were heard throughout the night. Irene, however, threatened them that if they didn't "shut the hell up" or if they broke "one more goddamn bed" or left "one more fucking hole in our walls" she'd castrate Emmett.

That being said, Jasper and I have been laying low lately. I doubt she'd do the same to Jasper (she really just doesn't like Emmett to tell you the truth), he's not taking any chances.

But while the sisters are away, the vampires are going to play.

Right now, I was admiring my brand new outfit that had just arrived from New York. It wasn't much, a simple magenta tube top made of silk, and an ultra mini black leather miniskirt. But the magenta looked great on my pale skin, and the skirt showed _a lot_ of leg, which I knew Jasper loved to no end.

As if I didn't look hot enough, I knew Jasper wouldn't be able to resist me when he realized I had nothing underneath my miniskirt.

After one more look in the mirror to make sure I was absolutely seducing, I ran at vampire speed down the stairs and to the door of the library. Sure enough, he was still there, right where he was when everyone left an hour ago, still reading some boring book on psychology. I rolled my eyes. He's alone in a house with a super hot vampire who's practically _begging_ to have sex with him, and he's reading a book. If he wasn't my husband, sometimes I'd wonder if he's even straight.

In a flash, I was between him and his book, sitting on his lap with my arms wrapped around his neck.

"Jas—per," I cooed, dragging the 's' in his name out, as I twirled a strand of his hair with my fingers.

Said vampire moved his book back between us, his eyes still locked on the page as if I wasn't much of a distraction.

"Al—ice" he mocked, a small smirk flickering on his face, though he tried to be annoyed. "I'm read—ing." I pouted, my bottom lip jutting out as far as I could make it go.

"You'd rather read then spend time with me?" I asked, my lips barely touching his ear. Sensually, I let my tongue dart out of my mouth, and ran it from the top of his ear to his earlobe. He lowered the book a fraction of an inch, and turned to me, a huge grin on his face.

"I don't know Alice, I'm learning a lot from this book."

I sighed angrily. This man could be so FRUSTRATING, and in more ways than one too. Sensing my frustrations, Jasper's smile grew.

"What can _you_ teach me?" He asked, his hand sliding up my thigh, going under my skirt. I shivered at his touch, but I kept my cool.

"I learned a new position."

"Really now?" Jasper answered, his voice slightly rougher and huskier than before. His head was now buried in the crook of my neck, as he gave small little nips on my collar bone.

It was my turn to grin. He was caught in my trap now. As I lifted his head so that he could face me and leaned in to give him a passionate kiss, I was struck by a vision.

_~*~_

_Blood. Lots and lots of blood. _

_Bella was lying in a tub stained with it. Underneath the gore, I was able to see both wrists had been slashed open by a razor… just like the one in her open hand._

_~*~_

I came out of the vision, gasping for unnecessary air.

"Alice? ALICE! Baby, what happened, what did you see?"

My eyes turned to Jasper's scared face, my mouth slightly opened in shock. Everything else had been forgotten after that horrific scene, and I was surprised to see him there. He held my face loosely in his hands, his voice was full of worry, and my silence was doing nothing to calm him.

"What happened? Is someone hurt?! Esme? Rosalie? Edward?" Hearing Edward's name snapped me out of my trance.

Without any explanation for my actions, I ran to the nearest phone and dialed Edward's cell number. I could feel Jasper standing behind me, his eyes locked on my back, but I was too busying praying that Edward would pick up his phone to say anything to him.

"Leave a message after the tone," the annoying automated machine said. "To leave a voice mess—"

I growled in frustration, and pushed the one key as hard as I could without breaking the button.

"Edward! Pick up the damn phone for once in your fucking life! It's Bella, she's dying! I—I don't know if I'll make it in time, but I'm going to Forks anyway. If she dies, I swear I'm hunting you down and kicking your ass Edward! This is all your fault!"

With that threatening end note, I slammed the phone back down onto the receiver, this time breaking the phone. After taking a few deep breaths, I finally turned back to Jasper.

His face was filled with worry, and I could tell he was sending me calming waves, though they did little to help.

"What can I do?"

"Get Carlisle." My back was already turned to him, heading out the door. "Find him and tell him to rush to Forks. If Bella's too far along to be human, but not to be saved I…don't know if I could bite her and stop."

I stopped and wondered what keys I should grab. A fast car would be a good choice…but Rosalie would kill me. Deciding I'd deal with Rose later, I grabbed the keys to her BMW M3 convertible.

"What happened to her?"

If vampires could cry, tears would be running down my face right now.

"She—" The words died on my lips. Thank god Jasper understood anyway.

"Why would she…"

"I honestly…don't know."

**Ha ha ha, you do NOT know how awkward it was to write all that smexy-ness in the middle of my world history class. Jeez, and people kept trying to read over my shoulder and I was SO close to turning bright red -_-**

**Also, you are all prob wondering WHERE THE HECK IS EDWARD?!?!? **

**Yeah, yeah, I'd be doing the same thing (actually I am, I can't WAIT to write from his POV!)**

**But he's still one chap away! T-T**

**Chap 4 will be all Eddie's POV**

**Think of this way: Originally he wasn't gonna appear til Chap 5!!!**

**But I can't wait that long, so Chap 3 will be a halfa (2 POV's/2 Chaps worth together)**

**That being said, it prob won't be out til tom and will have to wait til next weekend to come out.**

**And if by ANY chance you've read The Destruction of the 6****th**** Hokage (which I don't think you have, but anyway), this means no new chap for another 2 weeks! (most likely) Sorry, but I'm working hard on this story right now**

**So with that really long closing Author's note. REVIEW PLEASE, SO I KNOW THAT YOU LIKE THIS AND WANT IT UP NOW : D**


	4. No accidentTheraputic Events

**Disclaimer- **New Moon ain't mine but I wish Edward was T-T

**Warnings for this chap- **language, not too bad : D

**Songs for this chap- **Camisado by Panic at the Disco (I miss the '¡'!) LOVE THIS SONG, and its part of the original inspiration for this story! So, yeah, the titles make a line from the song! ; P

**THANKS TO **_SummerSis, InEdwardCullen'sArms, Katering, and missbellaswan, _**SPECIAL REVIEW THANK YOU TO **_!!! _

**FIVE REVIEWERS THIS TIME, YOU SO RULE!!!**

**ALSO THANKS TO ALL WHO FAVORITE THIS STORY OR ADD IT TO THEIR STORY ALERT LIST!**

**Note, I wrote this instead of doing my homework, which now means I'm gonna be doing it all day tomorrow T-T BE HAPPY! XD**

**Chapter 3: **

**Part I: This was no accident**

_Jacob_

_~*~_

_I came to tell the_

_truth, but I'm not the only_

_one with truths to tell._

_~*~_

The word hate seemed to dominate my mind lately. My life seemed to revolve around the concept of hate.

I hated the Cullens for turning me into what I was, especially that leech Edward for what he did to Bella. I hated being a werewolf, I hated being unable to explain to Bella exactly why I had to leave her and why I wasn't safe to be around. I hated not being safe, supposedly we were the protectors of the land, but we were so dangerous and unstable.

But most of all, I hated myself. There had to have been another way, a way I just hadn't thought about yet. It can't end like this, with me breaking my sweet, innocent Bella's heart. I had broken my promise to always be her friend, and what I did was just as bad as the bloodsucker.

My Bella. Could I even call her that anymore? She must hate me now, she's probably cursing me this very second.

Wait, no. Bella doesn't curse. Still, I don't expect her to ever forgive me, though I bet she will anyway.

I wanted, no needed, to tell her why I had said all those things to her. Tell her why I was too dangerous to hang around anymore, tell her how much I love her! I ached to tell her she was my world and how much happier she made me. I loved everything about her! The way her body felt next to mine when we walked on the beach over almost a year ago, how it felt to dance with her at prom even if it was only for one song, how it felt just to have her in my vicinity.

"_JACOB!!! Stop thinking about Bella! You're even worse than Sam when he thinks about Emily!" _Embry's voice wined in my head.

We were both on duty right now, circling La Push wary of the red-headed vampire that may be around. Both of us were in wolf form right now, which meant we were mentally linked to each other so Embry had heard my entire train of thought.

"_Sorry, this mind link thing can take some get used to."_ I thought, though this time it was directed to him instead of in general.

He snorted in his mind, and probably aloud too.

"_I doubt any of us are used to this mind link and I doubt any of us will be anytime soon."_

"_Exactly, so until then, you'll have to deal with me thinking about Bella." _He mentally groaned, and I snickered.

Poor Embry, I know how it is to have to listen to all these mushy love thoughts. Sam never stops thinking of Emily, and it does get pretty sickening.

Still, Bella controlled my mind right now. I could think of nothing BUT her. If Sam hadn't directly ordered me not to tell her about us being werewolves, I'd tell her right this second. It's not like I hadn't told her the legends before.

…Damn, I was an idiot.

Making sure my thoughts were clearly off topic, I darted off to Bella's house.

"_JAKE! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!"_ Embry's voice screamed in my head, and I could hear him wonder if he should come after me or not beneath his voice.

"_I'm just paying a visit to Bella, I'll be back before you know it."_ Embry whimpered in his mind, obviously not happy, but unsure of what to do.

"_But Sam put us on guard duty, you can't just leave!"_

"_Embry, seriously, don't be such a wimp. We haven't seen the bloodsucker in DAYS. If anything happens, just get backup."_

"_What happened to you coming right back?!?"_

"_I AM, seriously, relax."_ He sighed in his mind almost inaudibly, but I knew I'd won this argument.

"_You're going to be in so much trouble with Sam…whatever. Just don't tell Bella what you are alright?"_

"_I shouldn't have to."_

Before he could say anything I shifted back into my normal form. I'd finally figured out how she could know the truth, all she had to do was guess.

Right now I was in the woods behind Bella's house, naked as a matter of fact. Thank God I'd been carrying a pair of shorts in my mouth since the beginning of duty. I'd learned since my first shift, you may never know when you may need a pair of pants.

I slipped the shorts on, ignoring the fact that they were somewhat wet from wolf slobber, and stepped out of the tree line. Bella's window was dark, and I could only assume she either wasn't up there or she was asleep. Hoping it was because she was asleep, I decided to climb the leafless tree beside her window, and hope no one sees me.

Being a werewolf sure has its advantages. It took less than a minute for me to reach Bella's window, and I peered into the dark room. Completely empty.

I hesitated. There were two choices I could make from here.

1. I could go in via window, which constitutes as breaking and entering, and wait for her there. Problems with this plan: Bella might get freaked out to find someone waiting in her room for her and scream or something, and then Charlie may come up and I'd be so screwed.

2. I could knock on the door like any normal person, and just wait for her downstairs.

Not wanting to be put in a jail cell, I decided plan 2 was safest.

I jumped to the ground with ease, landing gracefully on my feet. See, cats aren't the only animals that always land on their feet.

Swiftly, I walked to the front door, and knocked. Seconds later, Charlie opened the door.

"Jacob! What a surprise, what are you doing here at this time of the night?"

It hadn't occurred to me that it was that late out, but it _was_ pitch black outside. I struggled to come up with an excuse.

"Um, I was in the neighborhood and I thought I'd come apologize to Bella about earlier." As lame excuse for an excuse as it was, Charlie seemed to buy it.

"Well that's great! Bella was sure upset when she came home after the argument between you two. Come on in."

I frowned at hearing I'd made Bella upset, though I knew I had, and nodded in thanks. Not surprisingly, Charlie was watching a game and eating pizza.

"Bella's upstairs in her room, you can either go up there, or wait for her down here."

I hesitated. Charlie didn't seem to know that Bella WASN'T in her room, and I began to worry where she was. But my heightened hearing heard water running, and I calmed when I realized she was in the shower.

"Um, nah, I'll just wait for her down here. I think she's in the shower."

"Huh? Oh, right. She usually does take one before bed, she shouldn't be in there long." Charlie walked over to the staircase, and screamed, "BELLS, JACOB'S HERE TO SEE YOU. AFTER YOU'RE DONE, COME DOWN!"

We both waited for a reply, but none came. Charlie shrugged.

"Guess she couldn't hear me." We both took a seat and watched the game, though I was more preoccupied about Bella. "Hey Jake."

"Hm?"

"Mind if I ask why you're shirtless?"

I jumped with surprise. I'd completely forgotten about that! Blushing slightly, I once again struggled to come up with an excuse.

"I'd been…running. Yeah, that's why I was in the area, just doing my nightly jog."

"Oh, very athletic. Not to be rude or anything, but you might want to borrow a shirt of mine before you talk to Bella." Though Charlie's voice was nice and suggesting, his eyes were hard and he didn't look very happy at the thought that I'd be talking to his daughter shirtless.

"Of course," I said, standing to go get one. "I'll go grab one, where's your room?"

"Upstairs, last door on the right." I nodded, and took the steps two at a time, in a hurry to get away.

At the top, a wave of Bella's scent hit me hard. I'd become very used before the change, but now I could smell it exactly, and it seemed to smell almost flower like. Right now however, I could smell a sharp undertone to it. As I walked down the hall, the other smell became more potent, and I was getting worried.

Finally, I'd reached the bathroom door, and this other scent was very strong. Hesitantly, I knocked on the wood door.

"Bella? Bella, it's me Jake. Are you okay in there?" I listened, but I couldn't hear anything. "BELLA!" I screamed a little louder, my ear pressed hard against the cold door.

I could hear the water, I could hear it hit tub, and I could even hear it hit her flesh. But I could barely hear her breathing.

"BELLA, IF YOU DON'T ANSWER I'M GOING TO BREAK THIS DOOR DOWN!" After hearing no reply, I felt I had no choice but to break the door open.

It only took one good hit with my newfound strength. Now open, the bathroom seemed normal. The mirror was fogged up with steam, her clothes were thrown half-hazardly on the floor, the curtain was pulled out, but the strange scent was even stronger in here. It was familiar, and I knew I'd smelled it before, but what was it?!

"Bella?" My hand was halfway outstretched now to pull away the curtain. I didn't want to, I knew she'd be extremely mad if I saw her naked, but she didn't answer me. My hand clamped on the edge of the curtain, and it occurred to me what that strange smell was.

It was blood.

With one quick motion I pulled away the curtain and gasped.

My Bella was covered in blood, her legs, slightly bent but facing in opposite directions, as if she struggled and failed to stand. Red marks ran down her arm, some speckled with blood. But that was nothing compared to her wrists which had been shredded to pieces, dried blood luckily coving the cut only allowing a small trickle of blood to fall from the wounds. Quickly I gathered the girl in my arms, bring her chest to my ears as I struggled to hear her heartbeat or breath. Luckily, I heard both, faint as they were.

I sighed in relief. Bella was still alive, though she wouldn't be for much longer if I didn't get her to a hospital soon. Gently, I put one of my arms underneath her knees, and picked her up bridal style. Metal clanged against the tub. I looked down and saw a razor had fallen from her grasp. My mouth fell open, and I stared down at her in shock.

SHE HAD DONE THIS TO HERSELF? _My _Bella tried to commit suicide? Guilt came over me in waves. Obviously I had something to do with this, it was too much of a coincidence that she slits her wrist after I said I didn't want to be her friend. Still, I had to save her.

"CHARLIE!"

* * *

**Part II: This was a Therapeutic Chain of Events**

_Alice_

_~*~_

_When I walked into _

_that hospital room, I walked_

_into a nightmare._

_~*~_

It was pitch black outside, and the digital car clock declared it was 12 a.m. The odometer told me I was going 110 miles per hour, but if felt like I was going 2. A blur went by, and only because of my vampire eyesight did I know it said "WELCOME TO FORKS".

I sighed thankfully. _Finally_ I'd arrived in forks. Even at a constant speed of over a hundred miles an hour, it'd taken me a few hours to finally get here. I was only minutes away from Bella now, and I prayed I'd make it in time.

Eight minutes later, I turned the BMW into Bella's driveway, the breaks squeaking as I abruptly stopped. In seconds I was out of the car, up the tree Edward always used to get into Bella's room at night, and in her bedroom.

Everything was perfect, certainly unused for at least the past 12 hours. Instantly, the scent of blood hit me like a brick wall. The smell was so strong, and delectable it made me mouth water. Before I could lose myself completely, run towards this savory scent, I stopped breathing. Though the scent was still fresh in my mind and the monster within me begged to find that person's blood and suck them dry, I had control of myself.

After a couple more seconds, I trusted myself enough to go to Bella.

I had hoped that Charlie had found her and taken her to the hospital by now, but I was surprised to see the door knocked off its hinges. The tub was empty, though still stained with blood, and I gave out a sigh of relief. I allowed myself one more quick breath, when I caught another scent.

Werewolf. A growl built in my chest, but I didn't let it out. I'd deal with the mutts later, right now I had to get to the hospital and see Bella.

In seconds, I was on the road again, driving to Forks Hospital, though no where near as fast as before.

It still didn't take me very long to reach the hospital, but I was in for another surprised. The small hospital parking lot was PACKED with cars. There certainly weren't any spaces left, and cars were attempting to find spots in the grass. Knowing better, I parked a block down, and ran back, only a little faster than human speed.

The inside of the hospital was more packed than the outside had been. It was pure chaos. Babies were crying, a hoard of yelling people surrounded the receptions desk, and the rest of the people were talking amongst themselves, just taking up room.

"Excuse me," I asked the nearest person to me. "What happened?"

"Didn't you hear?" The man asked, and I shook my head in response. "There was a 15 car pile up at the main intersection, largest car pileup in history. Everyone and their brother is here. Hell, about a third of these people are actually related to the victims. It's been crazy like this for the last 2 hours."

"Thanks." I said, before trying to make my way through the crowd.

This was not good. With all these people here, Bella could not be getting the attention she deserved. Still, all these people made it easier for me to sneak in.

My original plan was to sneak a look at the room number, but that was impossible with how many people crowded the reception, so I would have to do things the hard way. At vampire speed, I ran through the hallway, checking each room for Bella. I was careful not to hit anyone, and everyone was too busy to notice the blur that ran past them.

Eventually, I was on the second floor in the intensive care unit. Though I'd expected her to be in the ER, I'm not surprised she had been moved to the ICU. After all, the ER was full of car crash victims, and the doctors had their hands full.

It took me three tries, but finally I opened the right door.

A dry sob slipped from between my lips at what I saw. She looked exactly like I'd seen her in my vision, her once full red tinted cheeks ghostly white and sunk in. Her eyes, though closed, had darker circles under them than my own did. A thin cover had been brought up to her chin, but I could tell she was sickly skinny and I worried if she had stopped eating since we left.

Still, I was relieved to see her chest rise up and down slowly, telling me she was breathing. The heart monitor beside the bed beeped in a steady rhythm, stating she was in a stable condition, and that was my top priority.

"What the hell are _you_ doing here bloodsucker." My attention snapped to the growling figure in the corner of the room. My lip drew back, showing my sharp white teeth, as I snarled back.

"I could ask you the same thing _pup_." Said mutt glared at me.

"I didn't leave her like _someone _here did."

"Then where were you when she slit her wrists?" I snapped, losing my temper. Who did dog think he is? My comment seemed to hit a vein.

"I DIDN'T KNOW SHE WAS SUICIDAL! If I did I wouldn't have—" He choked on his own sentence. Unintentionally, I relaxed.

I remember this pup now, I'd seen him at prom. It's not surprising I hadn't noticed right away, he'd grown over a foot taller and his long hair was now cut short. Back then he hadn't been a dog either, mostly likely it was our fault he even is one now. Still, by the looks of it, he cares for Bella.

"Really leech, what the hell are you doing here?"

I rolled my eyes.

"I came to make sure Bella was okay, obviously."

He eyes lowered slightly, his eyes turning into slits.

"How did you know she slit her wrists? How did you even know she was hurt?"

I shrugged, as I mentally hit myself for letting my power slip.

"I had a feeling. What about you mutt?"

He stared at me suspiciously.

"I found her. I'm Bella's friend…or at least I was."

I raised an eyebrow at that, but on the inside I was growling again. Why was Bella hanging around this werewolf! First she hangs out with vampires, now mutts? Bella, you really are a danger magnet!

"What do you mean was? If you hurt her in any kind of way, I swear—"

"Look whose talking! Do you have any idea what you did to her by leaving?! I know I hurt her, but I went to her house last night to apologize. You on the other hand could care less unless about her!"

This time, I growled out loud.

"You've no idea what you're saying! _I_ never wanted to leave Bella, and I would've returned if I hadn't promised not to. She is my sister, and I love her. I have no idea who you are to her, but until then I'm not going to fight with you."

Silence filled the room. Our eyes were locked on each other, daring the other one to look away first. Finally he talked.

"Okay, I understand why you're here, but why are you dressed like a prostitute?"

Oh, right. I was still in my "Seducing Jasper" outfit. Unable to stop myself I laughed, soon to be joined by the teenage boy.

"I'm Alice by the way, I don't remember your name."

"Jacob Black."

"Well, I can't say it's nice to meet you, but I can say thanks for saving her."

At that moment, Charlie walked in. He stopped for a moment, blinking in confusion, but then he rushed over and took me in a hug.

"ALICE! Is that really you? How did you know we were here?" Charlie asked, pulling away from the hug. The man looked exhausted, and I could tell he really needed some rest.

"Well, I've come down to Forks to visit, and though I knew it was kind of late, I decided to go see how you two were. When I got to the house, however, no one answered, and then I noticed some blood outside the door. Worried, I rushed here and somehow managed to get her room number despite the chaos downstairs."

Charlie nodded, buying the excuse I had thought up on the ride here.

"I just came back from the pileup scene, I didn't want to leave Bella but everyone has to pull their weight. Thank God Jacob found her when he did, doctors said she was minutes from dieing."

"Wow, we're very fortunate! What happened exactly?"

"Well, she—" Charlie coughed, though I could hear a sob beneath it.

"She slit her wrists while taking a shower." Jacob said from behind me emotionlessly. His eyes however were bright with anger, but wet as he kept back tears.

I gasped theatrically, and though it was impossible for me to actually cry, I tried to look like I was about to.

"Charlie, I'm so sorry! Is she okay?"

"Doctor said she's stable, but they couldn't do much more than that because they're all busy with the accident victims. She's in a temporary coma, or at least they _hope_ it's temporary." Charlie's voice was hard and forced, obviously unhappy about the lack of attention his daughter was getting.

Silence filled the room again, everyone preoccupied with their own thoughts to talk aloud. Charlie was the first to speak this time.

"Is _he _here?"

I stopped. The hate and anger in Charlie's voice was evident, and I knew exactly who he was talking about. Still, I didn't know if he was coming or if he even got my message yet because I'd been too busy with just getting here. Both male's eyes were locked on me, waiting for my answer.

"I had come ahead of everyone, eager to see Bella. Edward hadn't decided whether he was coming or not at the time…"

Everyone was quiet again, and this time no one broke the silence.

* * *

**EDWARD IS NEXT!!! *cue fan girls screaming***

**So yeah, this chap only took, what, 3 and a half hours**

**And made me not get anything else done**

**But oh well including authors notes this thing is**

**3, 800 and something Words long**

**Wow, told you this would be about two chaps worth**

**Prob won't be able to write until next week, **_**if**_** then!**

**After all, finals are less than 2 weeks away, and I am SO SCREWED!**

**REVIEW IF YOU WANT EDWARD!!! : P**


	5. Consequences can be brutal

**Disclaimer- **New Moon isn't mine, if it was it would've been filled with Edward!!!

**Warnings for this chap- **Language, I guess -_-'

**Songs for this chap- **Main song: Shadow of the Day by Linkin Park. Other song I just happen to like Guardian Angle by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

**THANKS TO **_Miss Whitlock, InEdwardCullen'sArms, ErinCullen, Olympic1340, yesisalas, and of course, the ever so fateful Katering _

**More thanks go to all those who favorited this story or put it on their story alert list…if you review though I put your name in the story…*hint, hint* *nudge, nudge***

**Chapter 4: Consequences can be brutal**

~*~

_Leaving Bella killed_

_me, I knew that, but could it_

_killed her as well?_

_~*~_

It was an amazing feat in itself that vampires could live in Texas. But then again, normal vampires just passed through, staying no more than a couple of days. When Jasper had flashbacks of his time before Alice, I never thought twice about vampires in the southern states. Now that I was actually here, I realized just how much more complicated the sun made things for our kind.

I'd become very used to Forks, as well as places like Forks. Very few sunny days, clouds offering protection to my family and I. Texas was the polar opposite. The sun was always on the horizon and the clouds never once passed over the sun, much less block out it's rays. It had rained once since I had arrived, and even then the sun shined through the clouds. It was if nature itself was taunting me, and making my hunt even harder.

Consequently, I'd reverted back to being nocturnal, as what many of my kind had done before me. Only once the sun had set did I come outside looking for information on Victoria. After all, she was the only reason I was in this god-forsaken place. I'll have been here two weeks, the day after tomorrow, and still I've gotten no information on her whereabouts. As much as I wanted to call it quits, I knew I had to find her to insure she wouldn't go after Bella.

Bella. My angel, my love, my life… Feelings of regret overcame me, again. I'd regretted leaving her the moment I ran from her in the forest, the second the words left my mouth even, but I knew it had to be done. She was safer this way, my family and I had caused her nothing but trouble. Still…

I like to think she's already moved on, but I know how stubborn she is. More than likely she still hates me for leaving. She can't be that way for long though, different as she is from the rest of mankind, she's still human. Over time she'll forget me and move on.

The sun was now setting outside my hotel window, casting small slits of light through the venation blinds. Besides that small amount of light, my room was pitch black. I hadn't bothered turning on any lights, considering I didn't need them to see the dump I've been staying in.

Though I could've stayed in the best hotel in the city, I decided there was no reason to. Instead, I stayed in the first, and probably worst, motel I found. The wallpaper was aged and torn, the single full-sized bed was against the far wall, unused. There was no TV, no refrigerator, and no internet connection. A lamp on the bed stand was all there was to light the room, if I ever felt the need too. The bathroom was small and dirty, but then again I was surprised that there even was one.

After what I said to Bella, I felt I deserved every bit of this rundown room.

I spent the entire day inside said room reliving that horrible night, and struggling to remember the good memories of when we had been together. As hard as I tried to remember those happy moments, the look on her face as I left her haunted my thoughts.

Right away I knew I couldn't stay with my family, I'd only make them suffer. Jasper especially couldn't even come in my vicinity the few days I had been with them. It was then I decided I would hunt down Victoria, anything was better than dragging my family down with me in my hole of despair.

Night had finally arrived, a full moon shone outside. I stood, stretching my arms and legs more out of habit than my muscles being sore. After making sure I had the hotel key in my pocket, I exited the room.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

It was about midnight, and still I had no luck. This was my third bar I'd questioned tonight, and nobody had seen a red headed vampire. Not that I asked them if they'd seen a vampire. Not that I asked them at all. For all they knew, I was just another loner sitting at the end of the bar. As much as I tried to be indiscreet, I attracted looks of all kinds. Jealousy, lust, interest, uneasiness, I didn't need Jasper's power to know how they felt about me.

But the attention helped. I listened carefully to their thoughts, keen on anything that might hint to Victoria. Had someone that was also so striking entered the bar lately? Still, I heard nothing of interest, not a single hint about Victoria.

I sighed softly, staring blankly at the drink I had bought for appearance's sake. Tonight was going to be just another waste of energy as the nights before. Victoria was probably long gone by now, and there was no point in staying in this state.

My leg vibrated. Instinctively, my hand went to my pocket for my cell phone. I sighed again. Sure enough, it was home, more than likely Alice. Instead of answering it I let it ring until it went to voice mail. I watched the "new voicemail" icon light up on the phone's screen, and then put the cell back into my pocket.

I'd deal with them later.

Now sure that there was nothing to help my hunt here, I left the bar.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

The break I'd been waiting for had finally arrived. It'd been my seventh bar of the night, and I hadn't even sat down yet when I heard the bartender think, "Not another one."

Sure enough, the almost fifty year old women remember a beautiful red head flirting with the many guys of the bar asking around for a quick route to South America. Though the lead was suspicious, it was the only thing I had to go on.

As of now, I was in my room packing the few belongings I had into a small backpack. I was in as good of a mood I had been in a while, thrilled that I wasn't staying in Texas for another day. After giving my room a look over once more, to make was sure I wasn't forgetting anything, I left.

I went to the front desk to check out and internally groaned. A teenage girl, who really shouldn't be working in a place like this, was on duty and I could already hear her thoughts.

_Oh my God! Incoming! He's so fucking hot! Why the hell is he staying in a dump like this? He could stay with me any day!_

"Checking out?" She said in a sweet, yet sultry tone.

"Yes, room 316" I answered, very annoyed.

"Hold on, it'll just be a second." _I have to find my cell! He is so going to be my display background! Then I'll steal his number from the computer from when he signed in._

I fought a smirk. Thankfully, I'd given a fake number when I signed in since I'd had a similar girl sign me in. Thinking of phones reminded me of the call earlier. With yet another sigh, I pulled it out. Getting yelled at by my family was better then dealing with this girl.

"Excuse me." I said smoothly, and walked just out of sight.

Flipping the phone open, I dialed my voice mail and waited.

"Edward!" Sure enough, it was Alice.

"Pick up the damn phone for once in your fucking life!" I rolled my eyes. Why would I bother answering the phone if I knew I was just going to be yelled at anyway? I'm not _that_ masochistic.

"It's Bella, she's dying!" I froze, my mouth falling open slightly.

"I—I don't know if I'll make it in time, but I'm going to Forks anyway. If she dies, I swear I'm hunting you down and kicking your ass Edward! This is all your fault!"

The call ended with a slam, but I didn't lower the phone.

Bella, _my_ Bella…was dying? This must be a mistake, there was no way she could be dying. I left her so she could be safe, so she could grow old and die peacefully. My mind ran wild thinking of all the ways she could've hurt herself. Car crash, fire, slipping on concrete and smashing her head open, the list was endless. Bella was the clumsiest human I had ever met and a magnet for danger.

How did I ever think she'd be safe?

Without wasting another moment, I stuffed my phone in my pocket, and ran out the door only slightly faster than human speed.

"WAIT! You didn't sign out yet!" The foolish counter girl yelled behind me, but I could care less.

Outside the motel door, I ran. I ran faster than ever before, even faster than I had when Bella had gone to James. But Bella was hours away, and Alice had called hours ago. She was more than likely already…I couldn't even think it. Long ago, I'd decided when Bella died, I died. That time may be sooner than expected.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

It was almost dawn when I reached Forks Hospital. The sun was barely setting on the horizon, but not nearly enough to be a sunny day. I was surprised to see a good number of cars in the parking lot for such an early time of the day.

When I walked into the hospital, I was even more shocked to see all the people in the waiting room. Most were asleep despite the awkward positions they were sitting in, every once in a while a person would twitch, or adjust themselves. As curious as I was to what they were all doing here, Bella was a more important matter.

In four long strides, I was at the front desk. The attending nurse, was half asleep and completely unaware of my presence.

"Excuse me." I said, my voice straining to be polite.

"WHAT?" The girl snapped, as her eyes snapped upwards to glare at me. Her face changed to shock and embarrassment as soon as she saw me.

"Oh, excuse me, how can I help you?"

"What room is Isabella Swan in?" I asked, half afraid of the answer.

"Um, she's room 316 in the Intensive Care Unit, but wait! Visiting hours haven't started yet!"

I was already down the hall and up the stairs as she futilely called after me. I had to see her, I had to see Bella to believe she was alive, if only barely. Room 316 was near the end of the hall, and I didn't hesitate to open the door.

My breath got caught in my throat, and I stopped breathing all together. Even broken, my angel was a thing of beauty. Her brown hair was darker than it had been when I last saw her, slightly damp, and it stuck to the sides of her face. A single strand fell onto her face, dividing it into halves. Her deep brown eyes were closed, and a breathing mask covered her mouth.

I could feel my legs bringing me towards her side, and I was vaguely aware that I wasn't alone in the room, but I couldn't tear my eyes and thoughts from her.

She had always been so fragile, so breakable even for a human. In front of me was the proof of that. The thin hospital blanket did nothing to hide her form and I could see just how broken she really was. One of legs was bent awkwardly as if she tossed and turned in her sleep. Her ribs jutted through her night gown and the blanket. Just how much weight had she lost?

The monitor at her side beeped steadily, but I couldn't believe she was alright. Her smell was off, I could tell she was given multiple transfusions, her skin was more translucent than normal, and her face was more sunken. The sunken-ness scared me. That had happened over a longer period of time, not just recently.

"This is all your fault!"

Alice had said that it was my fault, and at the time I was too worried about Bella to let that sink in. Could I really have caused this?

Reality hit me like a brick wall. No longer was it just me and Bella, I was aware of everything. Alice stood about five feet to my left trying to calm a snarling Jacob Black. The scent of werewolf hit me just as hard as reality had.

"What the fuck is he doing here?!" Jacob yelled, his hands clenching and unclenching._ The vampire bitch lied! She said he wasn't coming!_

"I could say the same thing." I said more to Alice than to him, a low growl building in my throat.

_He's Bella's friend Edward. He brought Bella to the hospital. _

My face showed my shock. Bella truly was a danger magnet wasn't she? How could she be around a werewolf, especially such a young one! I was surprised he hadn't sifted yet. Of course, he was on the verge of doing just that.

"Control yourself pup, you don't want to change anywhere near Bella."

"You don't think I know that leech?! Why do you care anyway, you _left _her!"

In his mind I saw my Bella, almost as worse off as she was now. Her face was completely blank; tears stained her face, as she just sat there on the forest floor. I cringed openly.

"Calm down both of you! You can't start a fight with Bella so close by!" Alice said, her voice rising with each word. She looked at me with a glare.

_She would NOT be happy if you killed her friend Edward, no matter what he's thinking. You should be thanking him remember?_

"What happened to her Alice?" I asked through my teeth. Alice eyes were hard, and her voice was cold.

"She tried to kill herself Edward."

Again, it was like reality stopped. My sister and the dog were no longer there, we were no longer in the hospital, and it was just me and Bella.

We were in our meadow, her heat radiating off her by my side, and her cheeks slightly red-tinted. My hand went out to slip a stray piece of hair behind her ear, but she grabbed it and held it to her face. Her eyes closed, a small smile coming to her face, enjoying how my cold skin felt against her hot face. I smiled back at her, chuckling softly.

Faster than even vampire speed, I was back in the hospital. Both Black and my sister stared at me, waiting for my response. Instead of saying anything, I merely walked back to my place at Bella's side only slightly aware that I had moved at all. Their eyes were still on my back, but I didn't turn. Alice's thoughts were worried, but angry. After all, I was the cause of this from what I could tell. There was no way Bella would ever want me again. The mutt's thoughts were mostly on controlling himself though I could hear some regret. What did he have to regret?

"Thank you for bringing her Jacob, but it'd be better if you left, even if it was just long enough for you to get control of yourself."

"Like hell I'll leave…I'll wait til she wakes up." The pup grunted, before flopping back down in the chair he had jumped from when I'd arrived.

Despite myself, I nodded. Bella would want to see him when she awoke, far more than she'd want to see me at least.

_Carlisle should be here soon. He'd gone out hunting when I saw…it. Still, I sent Jasper out to find him as soon as I had the vision. I'm surprised they're not here by now. Later I'll show you what happened…just not now._

I nodded at Alice absently, and sighed for a fourth time this night. Or perhaps day, which of the two was hard to tell because there was no sun shining through glass window. I smiled, though it didn't quite reach my eyes.

At least I'm not in Texas anymore.

**YAY! Another chap done! Sorry if any Texans feel offended, but it's true, Texas is a sucky place for a vampire! (Which is why I wanna move ASAP *cough, cough*)**

**Also, sorry for updating so late! If you read my profile, I was with the family and had no computer T-T**

**BUT EDWARD'S HERE!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!**

**It was really fun to write like him, had to read some midnight sun to get in the moon ;P I can't wait til I get to write as him again, which I WILL MWHAHAH**

**Hope I wasn't very OOC (That would be bad)**

**This was suppose to be up by 4…then I got kicked off…when I came back I added more…then got kicked off…then edited some of it…then got kicked off to play Rock Band 2…and so yeah. It's midnight now -_-'**

**REVIEW PUHLEASE!**

**Oh, and to make up for being late, I'm gonna add a little segment here!**

Things I wanted to write, but I restrained myself from doing so:

Prologue:

"Look at her, all balled up like a used, dirty burger wrapper."

"What kind of burger?"

The man above me stopped and looked at his colleague.

"Why does it matter?" He hissed.

"Well if it's a cheeseburger, she's yellow and colorful. If it's a plain burger, then she's white and plain, and you could see just how dirty she is."

"…She's a plain one."

"See, it matt-"

"SHUT UP! Where was I…?"

Reason why not: TOTALLY RUINS THE SERIOUS MOOD XD

Oblivious Death (chap 1):

Without a second thought, I pushed the razor hard against my wrist and sliced. I tensed, waiting for the pain, but I felt none. Surprised, I looked down and noticed I'd only made a small scratch. Turns out I couldn't even cut myself correctly. Frustrated, I put even more pressure than before and sliced again. This time, I cut through.

Reason why not: Wastes time

If Vampire could cry (chap 2):

I was kissing my husband passionately, and simultaneously pulling us both to the ground with him on top of me when I was hit with a vision.

……….

I came out of the vision gasping for air.

"Alice? ALICE! Baby, what happened, what did you see?"

Caught completely off guard, I reacted to his presence by instincts only. With a well placed kick, Jasper was off of me and indented in the far wall.

"Shit! Jasper!"

Reason why not: Also just kinda wasting time and prob wouldn't happen…but I thought it would be funny ; P

Part I: This was no accident (chap 3):

I hesitated. There were two choices I could make from here.

1. I could go in via window, which constitutes as breaking and entering, and wait for her there. Problems with this plan: Bella might get freaked out to find someone waiting in her room for her and scream or something, and then Charlie may come up and I'd be so screwed.

2. I could knock on the door like any normal person, and just wait for her downstairs.

Still, I decided it was worth the chance, and I pried open the closed window. Bella's room was unnaturally clean, and looked almost unused. I fought the shiver of uneasiness that started to overcome me and sat on the edge of her bed.

Within a couple of minutes, the handle of her door started to open. I jumped to my feet, ready to calm her down if necessary.

However it wasn't necessary, considering it wasn't Bella. I'll never forget the look on Charlie's face. It was so emotionless, it was scary. Neither of us said anything for a moment. Finally, Charlie broke the tense silence.

"I don't want to know." With that, he quietly backed out the room, closing the door behind him.

Reason why not: Jacob would be so freaked out, he wouldn't be able to save Bella!

Part II: Therapeutic Chain of Events (chap 3):

"Okay, I understand why you're here, but why are you dressed like a prostitute?"

"Just in case I needed seduce someone to let me in."

"…"

Reason why not: …………………………..I didn't even wanna go there.

Consequences can be brutal (this chap!):

_Oh my God! Incoming! He's so fucking hot! Why the hell is he staying in a dump like this? He could fuck me any day! I mean, lay! Shit, nevermind. Oh my god, I'm so hot now. When's my break? Hell, for him, I'd even do it in THIS dump. Damn, he looks kinda strong. There goes any chance of knocking him out and locking him in the supply closet…maybe if I catch him by surprise…_

Reason why not: THAT'S JUST **TOO** CREEPY!


	6. Dreams of Death

**Disclaimer- **New Moon does not belong to me, or else I wouldn't be broke

**Warnings for this chap- **None really! This chap isn't bad actually, it's rated T : D

**Songs for this chap- **All Around Me by Flyleaf (I LUV FLYLEAF!)

**THANKS TO **_Gothic Saku-chan, Scarves, and Katering _**THIS ONE'S TO YOU CUZ YOU REVIEWED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Thanks to all those who favorited and/or added this story to their story alerts! Imaginary Cookies to thy!**

**Chapter 5: Dreams of Death**

_Bella_

_~*~_

_And in that darkness_

_I found where I had hid him,_

_And I was happy._

_~*~_

Are dreams like death, or is death like a dream? I'd enough experiences with both of them to notice how similar they are to each other. The same detachment from your body, the way you still feel everything around you but it seems surreal. It's the same as a dream in the way that you know it's a dream; you know you're dieing but you can't really figure out how to stop it, if you can at all.

The last time I'd been this close to death was when I'd been in the ballet studio. Then I was sure I was on the edge of death, but unlike now I had already given up and was letting the reaper claim my soul. Maybe I should just give up now. I'd been struggling to figure out what was happening, having lost consciousness but not my subconscious.

As if in time with my thoughts, the darkness changed around me.

I thought briefly of clichés, about how you were suppose to see your life flash before your eyes. I was so much luckier. Who wanted to see a rerun, anyway? ¹

Instead, I saw my Greek God. Clearer than he'd ever been, my Edward stood in front of me, clearly visible despite the darkness that surrounded his figure taunting to swallow him into it's depths.

Mere steps in front of me, I could almost feel the chill of his body against mine. His pale skin was only illuminated by the same darkness that was my subconscious. After all, that had to be where we were. Here was where I had stored every precious bit of my Adonis. Here I remembered the very structure of his nose, the curve of his eyebrows, the smallest details.

He was angry of course for breaking my promise. I'd been both stupid and dangerous, and now I was paying for it by dying. His eyes were darker than I usually remembered them, only a shade lighter than onyx. The perfect lips I urged to kiss were twisted, and a soft growl came from the slight part between them. I waited for the yelling to start, for him to be telling me how stupid I'd been, just like the other times he'd spoken to me.

…but nothing came. Other than the small growl, we were both silent. It was as if we both knew this was the end. Unless Charlie came to check up on me, which had about little to no chance of happening, I was going to die.

Even disconnected from my real body, I could feel my heart ache. I'd survived countless accidents, almost getting hit by a car, being tracked and tricked by a vampire, being raped, and more surprisingly, Edward's departure. I had survived more than I had thought was possible, and now I was going to die. By my own hand nonetheless.

I had killed myself. The one thing I had thought I was above of, I had done. Guilt overtook me. If I had just kept my promise to Edward…

Edward. Despite him believing he was eternally damned, I'm certain he'll make it to heaven, or wherever the good hearted souls went after death. I had assumed that if a time ever came that I died, or he died, we'd meet each other there. But I committed the worst sin you could commit. No longer would I be able to see him in the afterlife.

I had no idea you could cry in your subconscious, but it seems you can. Tears started to fall down my face, and I held in my sobs so they barely made a sound. Edward heard them anyway. Faster than I could see, I was in his arms just like old times. With my head pressed against his hard chest, I let myself cry. In my ear, my angel spoke softly, and comfortingly.

"Shush, it's okay. Shush, everything will be okay."

With another pang, I realized this may be the last time I ever saw Edward, though this was just a memory of him. I jerked away, though his arms didn't let me get far. A small sob came from my throat.

He wasn't clear anymore. Unlike earlier when he'd been a solid figure in front of me seemed like a mist in my arms. The edges around his perfect structure seemed blurred, and the colors began to blend into each other, reminding me of the rain washing away chalk. As if this wasn't bad enough, I was acutely aware that he'd become more transparent as I stared at him. My mouth was hanging open in surprise and horror, and I wanted to scream. He couldn't leave me! Not again!

But he did. Still in his arms, the memory faded, leaving me in the darkness alone again. I could feel the tears running down my face, I could feel myself shaking, but my insides were empty.

"Edward…"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The darkness seemed to go on forever. After being left alone, I'd spent some time withering in self-pity, and loneliness. Then, I decided to walk around. Time wasn't an issue here. Every once in a while, I thought about how much time had passed, but since I was going to die anyway, why did it matter?

But what if I was dead already? I stopped walking for a second, pondering that thought, but then kept walking. Maybe I was dead, maybe this was what the afterlife is like: nothing. No heaven, no hell, no reincarnation, no volcanoes of beer² or whatever the afterlife was suppose to be like. Perhaps I was doomed to be alone in the darkness for all eternity. Or maybe I wasn't.

Did it really matter? Time sure didn't matter, it feels as if I've been walking for days. There was no point on dwelling on the afterlife, I was sure to find out eventually. All I could do is walk, so walk I did.

When I ran into a wall, I was more than shocked, I was ecstatic. Finally, I'd found something other than blackness! With a renewed spirit, I searched for a door, a window, a crack even.

My spirit fell that much harder when there was none. At a loss as to what else I could do, I rammed myself against the wall. Not surprisingly, that did nothing. But the act hadn't been for nothing. Pain stung the shoulder I'd used as a battering ram. Well, I knew this wasn't a dream now. Preparing myself to ram the wall again, I heard something.

Voices! Once again, my spirit flew. No longer would I be alone, as long as I broke down the invisible wall in front of me. Without worrying about the pain, I ran against the wall only to have similar results. A gasp of pain escaped my mouth as I steadied myself to go again.

After the fifth try, I remember something I was told once when I was a kid. "The definition of crazy is someone who tries something over and over again, expecting different results."

But what choice did I have? I had no tools, nothing to help me through. Again, I rammed the wall, fueled by anger: anger at myself, at my situation, and at everything that had happened to me when I had been alive.

When I heard the loud crack, I thought I'd broken my shoulder. The pain was excruciating enough, but as I shifted it, it didn't feel broken. I heard the crack again, and my head snapped to the wall.

A large crack ran right through the middle, a bright light shining from behind it. Without think, I rammed the crack.

This "crack!" was louder than the first one. Around the crack, smaller ones spread out, until the top began to fall in on itself. The product was a hole, just big enough for me to climb through, and a blinding white light.

~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~**~(ha! I messed it up!)*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

It was like waking up after a dream. I'd woken up in a hospital plenty of times before, but that didn't mean I was used to the feeling. My head was spinning, and my eyelids felt like lead. I strained to open them, but they did nothing.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

The next thing I tired was talking. If my eye lids felt like lead, then my lips were made of pure gold.³ Discouraged, I went back to my eyes.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

The force I was exerting on my eyelids only seemed to produce more of a headache. Still, I continued. If I could make it through that wall, I could open my eyes. It surprised me that I could still remember what had happened in those dark depths of wherever I had been. Most dreams are forgotten after all.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

"She's waking up Edward." A high musical voice said from somewhere in front of me.

Edward?

_Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep._

Maybe I had died? Maybe that blinding white light had been heaven? Why else would Edward be here? But that meant Edward had died as well. Despite myself, I smiled. We were going to be together again, what did matter if we were dead or not.

…but he didn't love me anymore. My heart deflated at that reminder. Of course, what was I thinking? Even if I was in heaven, as was my angel, he wouldn't want to be near me anyway. He'd probably heard of my death and has come to scold me.

_Beep, beep, beep._

Though that still didn't explain the beeping.

"Bella," another musical voice, this one not as high, called my name from beside me, this one easily recognizable.

With more strength than before, I tried to open my eyes, this time succeeding.

The lights were more blinding than those behind the crack. My eyes snapped back shut, and head swam in pain. After waiting for my head to stop hurting so much, I opened my eyes again. This time the light wasn't nearly as painful.

A few blinks later my eyes adjusted to the brightness. This certainly wasn't heaven, unless heaven was a hospital. My first instincts had been right as I stared up to the ceiling of what I assumed to be Forks General. But then why...?

"Bella."

_Beep, Beep, Beep, Beep, Beep, Beep._

Quickly, far too quickly, my head snapped to my left. Pain shot through my sore body, causing a hiss of pain to escape my lips. The pain lessened however, when a cold hand was placed on my pounding forehead.

"Shush, don't move Bella, it'll only cause you more pain."

My eyes that had involuntarily closed at the pain, snapped open, faster than my head had snapped to the side.

My breath caught.

_Beepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeep._

It really was Edward. I wasn't dead, and Edward was here. But…that wasn't possible! Edward hated me; I was nothing to him, why would he be here? Then it occurred to me, he wasn't here. A small smile crept upon my lips at the obviousness of it all. I was hallucinating.

"Edward" chuckled next to me.

"Some things never change, do they?" His voice was so quiet, it was barely audible. He was so close though, that I could feel the chill of his breath against my ear.

I closed my eyes again, my smile growing. This was just like my other memory Edward, a figment of my imagination conjured up because of the severity of my condition, it had to be. My eyes opened slightly, just enough to look illusion Edward over.

He wasn't angry like the other one had been, his perfect lips curved slightly in a sad smile that didn't reach his coal black eyes. What's more this Edward seemed so much more tired, though vampires didn't need to sleep he seemed exhausted. Oh, how I wanted to touch him, if you could even touch a hallucination.

"What…happened…?" I asked, my dry and strained. Edward looked at me sternly, his answer hard and cold.

"We were hoping you could explain that to us."

My heart fell. He knew. I felt extremely dumb to think he wouldn't, especially since he had come from my mind. Wouldn't he know everything that I knew anyway? Still, I'd hoped he wouldn't know my mistake and therefore think any less of me. Apparently, that wasn't the case by the sound of disappointment in his voice.

"…you already know." My answer was quiet, but I knew he had heard it.

His face twisted in a strange mixture of anger and sadness. I'd been making Edward angry a lot lately.

"Bella, we need to know exactly why you did it."

I turned, slower this time to lessen the pain. The other musical voice had been Alice, and she too had the strange mixture of anger and sadness on her face. Also like Edward, her eyes were pitch black, though she didn't seem as exhausted as him she looked tired. Though I was surprised I'd also made an imaginary Alice in my hallucination, I was more surprised by what she was wearing. I'd always thought she could be a little too revealing in her outfits, though not nearly as much as Rosalie, I didn't think I could imagine an outfit as skimpy as this. As if catching me studying her outfit, Alice answered my unheard question.

"I came to see you in a hurry, didn't quite get to change."

Though I was still confused, I nodded. I hadn't expected myself to have a very good reason why she was dressed that way anyway, I'd never been very creative.

"Bella, please tell us what happened." Edward begged, and I had half a mind to answer him.

"How did I get here?" I asked instead.

"Your friend Jacob had been visiting, and he found you."

My heart fell when I heard Jacob's name, and I wanted to correct him when he said "friend". After all, Jacob wasn't my friend anymore, who'd want to be friends with me? Especially now that he thought I was suicidal. But if he found me then he saw me… My face turned redder than I thought possible at the idea of Jacob seeing me naked. Despite myself I couldn't stop from asking,

"Where is he?"

"He went to go check on Billy."

So was his excuse, more than likely he wanted to get as far away from me as possible. Before I could ask my next question, Alice answered me again.

"Charlie had to go into work. There was a large crash, and they need him there to short out all the after affects. He'd be here if he could."

I was actually surprised I imagined illusion Edward and illusion Alice saying all this. Maybe I was more creative than I had originally thought.

"Thanks hallucination," I said jokingly to myself. 'Edward's' eyes closed slightly in a glare.

"What do you mean by 'hallucination' Bella."

My smile grew larger, and I laughed lightly without meaning to.

"Bella, answer me."

"Well, it's not like you're actually here Edward. Why would you be?" I answered, as if explaining something obvious to a child.

"Bella—"

"You know you don't love me anymore," I cut him off. "I just wish you were here."

"Bella, we really are here. You're not imagining this." Alice was the one to speak this time. I rolled my eyes at her.

"Prove it."

Faster than I could stop it, Edward's lips were on mine. The kiss was soft, vaguely reminding me of our first kiss when he was testing his limits. My already swimming head felt much lighter on my shoulders. As much as I tried to control myself, my boundaries fell apart like always in his arms. Moving my lips slightly faster, Edward sped up to keep my speed. I wanted to move closer, to wrap my hands in his soft locks of hair, but my arm was dead weight against my side. Gasping, I was forced to pull away for much needed air. Edward however didn't need air, and his lips made a trail from my lips to my ear.

"Does that prove it?" As much as I wanted to say yes, I knew I couldn't.

"I have a VERY good imagination."

Edward growled in my ear, and sadly pulled away from my ear, though his body was still pressed against mine. His face was angry.

"What do I have to do to prove I'm real!" I stared at him, racking my brain to think of an answer.

Thankfully I didn't have to. At that moment, the doctor chose to walk in. To say I was surprised to see it was Carlisle is an understatement. There was no way I knew my condition, so…maybe they really were back?

Next to me Edward stiffened, obviously having a conversation with Charlie is his mind. I could feel a small growl growing in his chest, and instantly I began to get worried.◦

"Bella, I have some bad news." Carlisle paused briefly, as if trying to figure out what to say next. "It's a miracle you're still alive Bella, you lost almost 35% of your blood before that young man found you. Unfortunately, the baby wasn't so lucky."

**¹ Taken from New Moon by Stephenie Meyer, i.e. it's copyrighted by her.**

**²**** Lol, if you're wondering where that came from, I just read the most FAWESOME Naruto fanfiction called ****Sticks and Stones**** by lunabasketcase. Even if you don't read Naruto, I recommend you go read it RIGHT NOW! So yeah, that goes to her XD**

**³ Yeah, gold is heavier than lead. Googled that baby ; P**

**THAT'S RIGHT, BELLA HAD BEEN PREGNANT. **

**I'm mean! XD**

**Sorry this is a week late!**

**This is actually draft 3 of this chap! For some reason I just couldn't figure out how to write it -_-**

**But here it is! Made it longer so be happy!**

**Also, in case you didn't get the "darkness" part, she's in a mini-coma, and that's what I think that's like. : D**

**REVIEW PEOPLE!!!!!!!!! I LOVE REVIEWERS!!!!!!!!!! (In a non-creepy way!)**

Things I wanted to write, but I restrained myself from:

Dreams of Death:

When I ran into the invisible wall, I was more than shocked, I was pissed.

"FUCK! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!?!" I screamed to myself, my hand clutching my nose who had taken the most damage. After figuring I was going to hell, if anywhere, anyway I decided I was gonna swear as much as I liked.

"WHO THE HELL BUILDS A WALL, AND PAINTS IT BLACK IN THE DARKNESS?! I **swear** to who ever built this place, I'm taking your head and stuffing it up your ass! …..if I can. If not I'm just suing you for WHIPLASH!"

Reason why not: umm…………


	7. Unexpected ReactionsMeetings

**Disclaimer- **New Moon belongs to S.M. …..lucky monkey!

**Warnings for this chap- **Language……..and if you read what I edited out perverted stuff -_-'

**Songs for this chap- Edward: **Lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off by Panic at the Disco (I don't agree with the title, but a great song!) **Jacob: **ummm, none really…OH! RANDOM SONG: Angels on the Moon by Thriving Ivory!

**30 REVIEWS, WHOOP!!!!!!!! (Easily pleased here people!)**

**THANKS TO THOSE WHO REVIEWED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm gonna reply to them now!**

**(Recent) Reviews for past chaps:**

Crookshanks713 2009-01-25 . chapter 1

I'm really picky when it comes to Twilight fanfic, but I absolutely LOVE your story! Please, please keep writing!!

**Thanks! I will : D**

Demonic Screams 2009-01-31 . chapter 3

lmao Alice wondering about his sexuality.  
i never thought about any of the cullens being gay!  
that would be funny

love the story

**Lol, I dunno, for some reason every once in a while I can't help but wonder about Jasper…..**

**Reviews for THIS CHAP:**

bee 2009-01-24 . chapter 6

BABY?!?

**Yup : D I thought it was predictable….**

Gothic Saku-chan 2009-01-24 . chapter 6

baby? hmm...edwards gonna be ** and i love the wall thing at the bottom of the page...HILARIOUS...update soon

**Yup! He is! Lol, that's what I would've done : D**

thexlightxwithinxthexdarkness 2009-01-24 . chapter 6

...crap. She was pregnant?

0.o

I gotta give you props for putting a twist at the end.

XDD That part that you edited out of the story..."Who the hell builds a wall and paints it black in the darkness??"

LOL.

l i g h t (katering)

**I would've thought u would've guessed it! T-T**

renata 2009-01-25 . chapter 6

OMG... what?

**Omg, YES MWHAHAHHAHAHA**

Feenrai 2009-01-26 . chapter 6

:-D

More please?

I have to know what happens! What must Edward think? Will Bella tell them about the rape??

**One of those q's will be answered NOW : P**

Mommys-Little-Nightmare 2009-01-31 . chapter 6

Oh dear..  
I didn't see that coming!  
more soon please?

**See! I'm really surprised no one saw that coming…maybe I'm sneakier than I thought? I dunno anymore**

**Thanks to all those who favorited and/or added this story to their story alerts! You're all so special!!!!!!!!!! Just like everyone else!!!!!! JK!!!!!!!! XD**

**Chapter 6 Part 1: Unexpected Reactions**

_Edward_

_~*~_

_A baby was lost,_

_New secrets to discover,_

_What a crazy day._

_~*~_

"I have a VERY good imagination." My angel whispered, still out of breath. I couldn't stop a small growl from escaping my lips as I pulled away from my spot at her ear. I'd been certain that would prove to her that this was no dream, or nightmare, but that this was really happening.

"What do I have to do to prove I'm real!" Her face scrunched in deep thought, wrinkles forming on her forehead as she concentrated. Was it really that hard to believe that I'd returned?

Sadly, another more pressing matter caught my attention.

"_Edward, no matter what I need you to stay calm." _Carlisle thought from just outside the door before entering the room. His face was tired and strained, and though his thoughts told me nothing, I could see him trying to find the best way to say what was needed to be said. Involuntarily I tensed and I gave my surrogate father a look that told him to continue.

"_Please Edward, I know you'll be angry, but Bella's going to need you now more than ever. Whatever you do, you can NOT leave her."_ A growl began to rumble deep in my chest, but I fought the urge to let it out. Beside me Bella shifted her body weight away from me, preparing herself for whatever the news maybe. As much as I wanted to bring her closer to me, I restrained myself giving her the space she needed.

In his head, Carlisle was counting backwards from 1000 obviously not wanting to give anything away before he said it aloud. Most beings, both humans and vampires, struggled when faced with the task of saying something while thinking something entirely different. However, living with me for several decades had given Carlisle the practice he needed to succeed when it truly mattered.

"Bella, I have some bad news." A tense air hung amongst us as Carlisle paused briefly before striking the nerve to continue. "It's a miracle you're still alive Bella," a fact I was acutely aware of. "You lost almost 35% of your blood before that young man found you." I fought back another growl at that reminder that I was forever indebted to the pup. "Unfortunately, the baby wasn't so lucky."

All went quiet. In the corner of the room, Alice sat straight in her chair where she'd been lounging mere moments ago, her pitying eyes on Bella.

I myself was shaking in both anger and jealousy, venom pooling in my mouth. To think that some worthless _human_ had touched Bella in such a way! Though I myself had longed for her body, I'd been a gentleman and refrained for ruining such an innocent angle. As much as I hated to admit it, _I_ had longed to be her first. In a way, perhaps it was for the better. Had I been intimate with her in such a way, I'd more than likely have hurt her.

Nevertheless, I wanted to kill him, whoever _he_ was. My mind first jumped to Newton, or one of the other perverted humans who had always undressed her in their minds. I felt disgusted at the very thought of what they used to think. Males that age were only interested in sex after all.

Then a more frightening thought came to mind. The mutt! Certainly he had said they were "friends" and the first person that came to Bella's mind when she awoke was him. Perhaps they were closer than he'd first thought. After all, what was he doing at her house so late at night anyway?

Another wave of anger rushed through me. The pup could've hurt her! In such a rush of emotions he could've changed and killed her.

As my mind began to weigh the different options I had of killing him, Bella finally spoke.

"I…had a baby?" My head snapped to her, measuring her reaction. Since the news, Bella hadn't moved an inch and her face had become emotionless. Even now, she spoke in monotone, neither too softly nor too loud.

"Yes Bella, you were pregnant. Approximately 2-4 weeks to be exact. Considering it was under a month, you probably didn't notice the loss of your period. Have you been feeling sick lately?" Bella nodded slightly, and then paused.

"But…I'm not pregnant anymore?" My heart fell. After all my Bella had been through, she should not have to deal with this too. Unable to speak, Carlisle just nodded sadly.

In an instant, Bella completely changed. Her shoulders slumped, her eyes closed slightly, and she released a long breath of air.

"Thank God."

To say we were surprised would be an understatement. We stared at her, completely put off by what she had just said, waiting for her to continue. When she didn't, I spoke what we were all thinking.

"What do you mean Bella?" My angel turned her head to face me, a small smile on her face.

"I'm not pregnant! I won't have to deal with a child I would've hated!" She looked around at us, and the smile fell. "Oh, that must've sounded bad." Had Rosalie been her it would've taken Emmett, Jasper, _and_ Carlisle to hold her down.

"No, it's completely understandable." I whispered soothingly in her ear. She relaxed again, her body fitting into mine so perfectly. Sadly, I couldn't be at such peace.

"_Poor Bella. However, that wasn't exactly how I expected her to react…"_ Carlisle thoughts faded out slightly, becoming too rushed and complicated to understand.

"_How could I not SEE this?! And why did she say she would've hated the kid? I always thought Bella would've made a good mother, though she may not be begging for one like Rosalie." _Alice thoughts brought a frown to my face, making me have to turn to where Bella couldn't see it.

Why _had_ Bella said she'd hate the child? Certainly she wasn't ready for children, but it didn't seem like she'd be the type to hold a grudge for a mistake she had made. If anything, Bella had always been self-sacrificing, and would have hated herself for not being the model parent for her child. What could've happened?

Perhaps she hadn't really made the choice? Maybe she was pressured into the act. I shook my head. Bella had always been too stubborn to do anything she didn't want to do…but…

Having been too occupied with the thoughts of my family and my own, I was surprised to hear Carlisle speak again.

"Bella, considering the circumstances, the other doctors and myself think it would benefit you to talk to a physiatrist." The reaction was instantaneous. With a jerk, she tore herself from me, her face livid with both anger and fear.

"NO! I don't need any help!"

"Bella," I said soothingly again, trying to calm her down. She jerked again from my touch.

"NO! I'M FINE!"

"Bella, dear, you just slit both wrists. There is obviously something wrong, and we believe talking with a professional would help." Carlisle said, though it only seemed to add gas to the already burning flames.

"I DON'T _NEED_ HELP! I made it without your stupid help this long!"

"But Bella, we're worried, you almost didn't—"Bella cut Alice off before she could continue.

"WHY THE FUCK SHOULD YOU CARE?! HUH?! You all LEFT me! You saw it all anyway! You saw it coming but you didn't HELP me THEN! Did you? DID YOU?!" Tears were now streaming down my angel's face as she shook violently from head to toe. My heart broke at the fact that she thought we'd know whatever caused her to kill herself and didn't care enough to help her.

Alice seemed even more disturbed by this thought, considering she already blamed herself for not having seen this coming. My adoptive sister's face was full of hurt, her eyes scrunched shut.

"Bella you can't beli—"

"WHY SHOULDN'T I?! You think you can just show up here and everything can go back to normal? Well it CAN'T!" Suddenly, she became very still, her voice barely a whisper. "I never meant to kill myself, I swear it was an accident. But now I'm beginning to wish Jake never found me."

The room fell still and a tense silence hung between us. No one knew how to respond to that statement. I'd thought my heart had fallen before, but now it felt as if my still heart had broken. My Bella truly wished to die…exactly what had happened since I left. Was it because I left?

That thought it me hard. If I had stayed, would this never have happened? Would my Bella not have to gone through such a torture as this?

Unable to take it anymore, I grabbed Bella and held in my arms quicker than she could react. Once she realized that I was holding her, she flinched slightly, before crying into my shoulder. No one said anything as Bella cried until she fell asleep in exhaustion.

Carefully as to not wake her, I moved her so that she was laying her back. Unfortunately she had a strong grip on my shirt and I had to softly pry them off of me.

"Edward…"

"I know Carlisle." I cut my father off, not daring to look at him. In a blink of an eye, I was off Bella's bed and out the door.

"EDWARD!" Alice yelled behind me, but I kept walking, struggling to keep at a human pace. Alice didn't even bother and easily blocked my way.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?" She asked, her eyes glaring into my own.

"To get information." I said through grit teeth.

"On no you don't. There's NO way you're leaving Bella like this. She just had a mental break down for Christ's sake!"

"I'll be back before she wakes up."

"And if you're _not?_ Then what genius?" I pinched the bridge of my nose and sighed.

"Alice, listen to me. I know you want to know what happened just as much as I do, and you also know that Bella is in no way prepared to tell us what happened. Even if my search comes up empty, I have to _try_." Alice didn't say anything at first, but finally sighed.

"_I know you're going to go see Black, but whatever you do, DO NOT cross the border, alright?" _I nodded, totally un-phased at her knowledge of where I was going. You get used to having a sister who could see the future after all.

~*~*~*~BE HAPPY, I WAS GONNA LEAVE IT THERE XD~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

**Chapter 6 Part 2: Unexpected Meetings**

_Jacob_

_~*~_

_Never trust a leech,_

_Especially one that knows _

_What you are thinking._

_~*~_

I'd only been away from Bella for an hour and I was antsy. My dad could see that I was too because he said that he was going to Harry's house to watch the game and that'd he be fine on his own. So after dropping him off, I was on my way back to the hospital. As worried as I was about Bella's condition, I was more worried about what those leeches were up to.

Meeting the girl bloodsucker hadn't gone all that badly, but _Edward_ was a completely different story. It took all my concentration not to rip him into twenty fucking pieces, and then watch him burn. But as much as I wanted to, I knew I was out numbered. Not to mention the fact that I'd be risking Bella's life in the process. Not to mention the fact that'd she'd be pretty pissed if I killed the pretty-boy.

As deep in my thoughts as I was, I wasn't so out of it that I didn't smell him miles away. He was obviously waiting for me, standing just shy of Quileute line. My hands gripped at the steering wheel, as I slowly pressed down on the gas until he came into sight. Sure enough, there he stood, leaned against the hood of his Volvo silver S60R. His face was hard and emotionless, and I could feel the tension in the air.

Despite my better judgment, I pulled off the side of the road directly in front of his car and stepped outside to meet him.

"Bloodsucker."

"Pup." I growled, though he kept the same blank look he had before.

"And to what do I owe this unwanted visit." He visibly deflated, taking on a look of exhaustion, as he closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"What happened to her?"

Oh. Of course, he was here to talk about Bella. The image of the gory mess I found in her bathroom sprung to mind. The leech cringed as if he could see it too.

"You mean other than you leaving her broken in the middle of the forest." Another image of how Sam found her after the Cullen left her filled my mind. The bloodsucker cringed again and looked slightly more pale than usual if that was possible.

"I hadn't meant to cause her so much pain." His voice was soft, and somewhat defeated.

"Well, you did." I said, shifting from one foot to another awkwardly. This wasn't how I expected this conversation to go.

"Do you know who Bella's been hanging around with?"

"Other than me, no one that I know of…wait there was that blonde. Mitch? Michael?"

"Mike." I nodded.

"But they didn't seem that close if that's what you're thinking. …Wait, why?" I stared at him suspiciously. He hesitated a second.

"Bella was pregnant." My eyes widened visibly, as I attempted to take in that news. It may not be any of my business, but she could've told me she was seeing someone!

"Wait, you said 'was'."

"The baby was only a few weeks old; it didn't make it with all the blood loss."

It may have not been my baby, but I felt a little guilty. Maybe if I had found her earlier? And I defiantly shouldn't have been teaching her how to ride a motorcycle if she was pregnant!

"WHY THE HELL WERE YOU TEACHING HER HOW TO RIDE A MOTORCYCLE IN THE FIRST PLACE?! Were you TRYING to get her killed?" The bloodsucker's emotions had changed so quickly I was too shocked to reply. When I finally did get myself together, I'd realized what he just said.

"How the fuck did you know that?" He said nothing for a moment.

"I can read minds." Oh, shit. So those rumors about some vampires having extra powers were true.

"Well THAT'S convenient." He chuckled slightly.

"Not as much as you think it is." His face hardened again. "Listen, Bella…didn't quite react the way we thought she would when we told her she lost the baby."

I raised an eyebrow, and motion for him to continue. He sighed.

"She was glad she didn't have to deal with a baby 'she would've hated'." Now that was surprising. Why would she have hated the baby? He sighed again.

"Well, it seems like this was a waste of time. I'm going back to the hospital; I assume you are as well?" I nodded. "I'm sure Bella will be happy to see you."

Without another word, he turned and got back in the car.

"WAIT!" I yelled, causing him to lower the window. "Is she okay?" Again, he paused.

"Physically, she's stable." Without adding anything, he closed the window and drove off.

After a few seconds of thinking over his words, I too got in my car. By the sounds of it, Bella needed a friend…if she still thought of me as one.

**YAY! Another chap down!**

**As I mentioned earlier, was gonna save Jacob's POV for the next chap, but I'm just soooooooooo nice!**

**I would've written this yesterday but I had a very eventful day! : D**

**(I volunteered for a couple of hours, then spent the rest of the day with one of my friends, then spent most of the night texting one of my newer friends who may be going to juvy OO)**

**So yeah!**

**As you can see, I'm gonna start replying to all my reviews now, cuz I love them so much! I.E. REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!! I'll send the evil BANANA-GA's AFTER THY IF NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!**

Things I wanted to write, but I restrained myself from:

Unexpected Reactions:

"Unfortunately, the baby wasn't so lucky."

All went quiet. Finally, I couldn't hold it in anymore.

"You _whore_!" Three shocked heads jerked to me. "I leave for three months, and already you're getting knocked up? What happened to only loving _me_? HUH?" Tears were running down Bella's face and I could hear a small "Edward", but I didn't stop.

"You're just another fucking slut." Without waiting for a reply, I stood up and stalked out the door. Ignoring Alice screams behind me, I got in my car and drove.

Reason why not: EDWARD CAN'T DO THAT! T-T Okay, seriously, I really wanted to put that in (which is why I picked the song I did for this chap : D) cuz imagine all the drama! (Everyone loves drama when they're not involved : P) Still, Edward would never do that, so I didn't go that direction.

Unexpected Meetings:

"I can read minds." Oh, shit. So those rumors about some vampires having extra powers were true. To test if he was really telling the truth I thought of Bella doing something really nasty with a banana.

In a flash, Edward had grabbed me by the collar and shoved me into my car. With his face mere inches from my own, he snarled angrily.

"If you EVER think about Bella like that again, I swear I'll shove that banana somewhere else!"

Reason why not: That was seriously a dirty thought! -_-' But I've always imagined Jacob being a pervert : D (Note- I chose a banana cuz no one can eat a banana at our lunch table without SOMEONE making a crack about it. Some thing with Cheetos Asteroids also known as Cheeto balls…)


	8. Living Nightmare

**Disclaimer- **The twilight series doesn't belong to me, if it did I'd have demanded Edward was played by a hotter guy in twilight.

**Warnings for this chap- **Pretty graphic rape scene in the first part (Don't read 3-4 paragraphs if you no likey) and kinda horrific scene (not to me, but I think I have a sick mind : D) right after that.

**Songs for this chap- **Nobody's Home by Avril Lavigne (oh and the edited out part- Candyman by Aqua)

**I FORMALY DEDICATE THIS CHAPTER TO **_**FEENRAI**_**, **_**KATERING**_**, AND **_**GOTHIC SAKU-CHAN**_**!!!!!! **Seriously, you guys were the only ones who reviewed and totally made my day!

**PLEASE REVIEW PEOPLE, I like to know people like what I'm doing if I'm gonna spend hours doing it!**

**THANKS TO ALL WHO FAVORITED OR ADDED IT TO THEIR STORY ALERT LIST!!!!**

**Chapter 7: Living Nightmare**

_Bella_

_~*~_

_The nightmares that scare_

_Me the most always occur_

_When I am awake._

_~*~_

_I tried to focus my attention on the sky. The stars were extra bright seeing as they didn't have to compete with the larger, brighter, moon. It was a new moon tonight, meaning the single street lamp across from the alley I was now being raped in was the main source of light. Like I'd wanted to see this anyway, the pain was bad enough._

_We were on guy number three by now, and I was anything but numb. The feel of his hot breath on my face and neck disgusted me. His eyes were closed as he groaned in pleasure, while I hissed in pain. At least now his thrusts were lubricated by blood (mine) and semen (theirs). Unlike the first man who literally ripped my insides, tearing not only my body but also what was left of my heart in two. The pain only seemed to intensify as I thought about what was being done to me._

_Okay, so the sky wasn't helping. Instead, I clenched my eyes shut and tried to pretend I was anywhere else. The sounds of skin slapping on skin kept me in place though. Tears that had long dried up began to leak through my closed eyes and my sobbing slowly drowned out the sounds of his moans._

_But it wasn't me sobbing. The crying was too high pitched and far away to be mine. What's more, nothing hurt. No thrusting, no gravel digging into my bare back, nothing._

_My eyes snapped open. Sure enough, I wasn't in the alley anymore. I was on a bed, a nice one at that. Gold silk sheets with a large black comforter covered my body, apparently thoroughly healed, keeping me cozy and warm. _

_Sitting up, I looked around the room and was shocked to see it was Edward's. There was no mistaking it, other than the addition of the bed everything was the same. Well, except for the small crib to the far left._

_There Edward stood, rocking a small bundle in his arms, whispering to it. As if feeling my eyes on him, he looked up and met my eyes. His eyes lit up, and my favorite crooked smile graced his face._

_At vampire speed he was at the side of the bed. Wordlessly, he held out the baby for me to hold. In shock and awe, I took the baby from him and the breath caught into my throat._

_Big brown eyes stared into my own, her forehead slightly wrinkled. Small brown stubble covered her head, and her face was slightly red. She was beautiful._

_For some reason I'd though she'd look exactly like one of them. As if this was their way of getting back at me forever. But instead, she seemed like a clone of me. Same eye color, hair color, and facial structure. Then it occurred to me._

_She was __my__ daughter too. She wasn't just my rapists' baby, but my own flesh and blood. She was all mine._

_Suddenly, her face twisted up in pain and she began crying again. I panicked at a lost at what to do. Was I holding her wrong? Was she hungry? Sleepy? What?! To my horror, she wasn't just crying tears, but blood. With a gaping mouth, I stared at my bleeding child. Then I thought, "Edward."_

_My head snapped up to look at him. Just like I thought, his eyes was the color of onyx and as cold as stone. But they weren't hungry, they were angry._

"_You killed her." My eyes opened visibly wider, and I could hear the baby's cries grow louder._

_I looked at her and stared in horror. The blanket she'd been wrapped in was soaked completely through and was dyed red with blood. What I had thought to be tears of blood were now recognized as long cuts starting from her eyes down to her chin that were bleeding freely. My arms were shaking, and I realized I was only holding her with one arm. In the other was a razor._

"_You killed her." All I could do was scream._

_~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~_

Apparently I wasn't only screaming in my dream, but it in reality too. I'd sat straight up in my bed and had started sobbing. Instantaneously, I felt cold arms wrap around my shaking form. I accepted the comforting hold graciously, sobbing into Edward's shoulder.

"I didn't mean to! I didn't mean to say those things! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…" The last two words I repeated over and over again like a mantra, hoping that if I said it enough Edward would forgive, or at least believe that I truly was.

"Shh, it's okay. It's totally understandable; we know you didn't mean it. Shhh."

My body froze. In slow motion, I carefully detached myself from the hug and stared at my comforter. Who I had assumed to be Edward had actually been Alice which meant…

"He's gone isn't he." Without having to look around, I knew he wasn't there. "He left me."

Alice hesitated a second before answering, but her hesitation was my answer.

"He didn't want to leave you—"

"But he needed to leave me." I laughed softly, the sound empty and humorless. "Who wants a baby killer as a girlfriend anyway?"

"What? No! No Bella, this has nothing to do with your condition…well it does, but it's not about the baby."

"Oh, of course it's not. After all I'm sure he's jumping at joy that in the few months he was gone, I got knocked up. Yeah, after all who isn't happy to know that their girlfriend will do everyone other than you right?"

"Of course he isn't! But he's not thinking—"

"I thought you were the future telling one, Edward's the mind reading vampire which is of little help." By now Alice's face had screwed up in a look of anger and hurt. But though I felt a hint of guilt, I still had a lot of pain to vent. Alice was merely an innocent bystander.

"By now I bet he's halfway across the country trying to get away from me as fast as possible."

"I hope we're not talking about me are we?" My head snapped up causing my brain a gigantic amount of pain, which I ignore.

Sure enough, my Greek God was standing in the door way, crooked smile and all. I could feel a blush rising in my checks as my face grew hot. Edward's smile grew larger as he crossed the room in three quick strides.

"I'm sorry angel, but you're not getting rid of me that easily." I lowered my head in embarrassment, vaguely wondering if he'd caught my outburst and failing to notice he wasn't alone.

"Um, hi Bella."

My heart both fell and rose at the same time. Jacob had come to see me! At the same time, perhaps he felt an obligation to come and hadn't really wanted to. Without raising my head, I looked up to where he stood at the foot of my bed. He stood leaned slightly on the rail of the bed in what seemed to be a relax stance, but his body was stiff against the support. My sun had a smile on his face but unlike the ones I was used to it didn't reach his eyes and even twitched between a smile and a frown.

Obviously, he didn't want to be here.

"Hey Jake." I whispered softly, heartbroken by the fact I'd just realized. He shifted his weight slightly, and opened his mouth to stay something, but then hesitated.

"Look Bella, I wanted to say I'm sorry. I didn't mean a word I told you. There's no way I wouldn't want to be your friend. You've got to understand I was trying to protect you! Besides Sam told me I couldn't say anything to you about it, and I know by the look on your face you think Sam's controlling me, but it's not like that. …Well, at least not the way you think. I didn't choose to be with him, to be who I am Bella, it just short of…happened." At the last word he had turned to glare at Edward with a hatred I had only seen when we'd first met James.

Now I was defiantly confused.

"What are you talking about Jake?" Jacobs face looked like he was in pain, torn between saying whatever he wanted to say and not being able to say it. Edward sighed by my side where he had sat quietly since Jacob's entrance.

"He's a werewolf Bella. And yes, he knows I'm a vampire." The blunt statements sent us all into a shocked silence…well at least me and Jacob.

Jacob, my best friend, my sun, a _werewolf_? Half man, half wolf. Howl at the full moon beast? Then again, the love of my life was a vampire, and more than likely cinema had gotten it wrong _again_. Thinking back, that day on the beach when he told me about his family legends…

"Wow, I really know how to pick them don't I?" My joke had the wanted affect. Jacob relaxed instantly, his whole body slumping slightly as he laughed. Alice smiled slightly, though she didn't seem as happy as I thought she would. Edward's face was hard and unreadable, but I saw a flash of disapproval in his dark eyes.

"Edward." He turned and smiled at me.

"Yes Bella?"

"When was the last time you hunted?" Jacob tensed again, but Edward still smiled.

"I'm fine Bella, don't worry about me."

"But being in the hospital, you and Alice must be in so much pain."

"Bella," he sighed. "Worry about getting better yourself before worrying about us."

"OH! Which reminds me!" Alice chirped. One second she was gone, the next she'd returned with a bag.

"Time to feed the human!"

"But Alice!"

"No buts! When was the last time you ate anyway? The nurse gave you some nutrition stuff, but they said you should be eating regular food as well." She talked while placing different fruits, vegetables, and a turkey sandwich on the small table before rolling it over to the bed. "Besides, you're looking a little thin."

I rolled my eyes. People had been saying that a lot lately, but really I'd just been getting so little sleep.

"Alice, I really can't eat all of this!"

"I'll eat whatever you leave." Jacob grinned. "Werewolves are ALWAYS hungry."

"So now you can talk about it?" He nodded.

"I just couldn't tell you what we were." My eyes widened slightly.

"Wait…Sam and Embry too? You're all wolves?" Again, he nodded.

"We're a pack Bella." I nodded slowly.

"I guess that makes sense…"

"Less chatting, more eating!" I glared at Alice, but took an apple as to not displease her. It felt weird eating with all their eyes on me. It felt like it was so long ago that Edward would sit there watching me eat, seeing as he couldn't eat himself. Actually, the attention made me feel like screaming. After taking a few small bites under their expectant eyes, I knew I didn't want anymore.

"There, happy?"

"Very funny love. That hardly counted as eating."

"But Edward, I'm really not hungry. Maybe later?" Edward looked at me funny, his eyes going up and down my body as if sizing me up. Slowly, and reluctantly, he nodded.

"Fine Bella, perhaps you need to go back to sleep." My heart fell again, remembering the nightmare I'd just experienced. I'd become used to the flashbacks, but the guilt of killing my child certainly was not going to let me sleep peacefully anytime soon.

"Do I have to?"

"Yes love. You need all the rest you can get to get better. The nurses say that you can be discharged either tonight or tomorrow…though they believe you should stay a little longer than that, you're stable enough to go home."

I could tell Edward wasn't telling me something, and his words seemed to be worded specifically so I wouldn't notice what they really meant, or what the nurses really said. Still, my head was feeling very dizzy. I guess I'd gotten even less sleep than I had originally thought I had.

Reluctantly, I nodded and Edward smiled sadly.

"I have to go talk to Carlisle Bella, but I promise I'll be here when you wake up this time okay?"

"Yeah, and even if _he's _not, I'll defiantly be here." Jacob added. I smiled at both of them before closing my eyes and letting sleep take me.

**Phew!**

**Did anyone catch my hints for upcoming chap(s)? Seriously, it was pretty obvious (which I didn't really want it to be, but screw that)**

**Okay, I know this chap was kinda short, but I'm TIRED T-T**

**I woke up a 6 yesterday to volunteer, and then stayed up til 2 because of sucky Sadie Hawkins dance last night. **

**Plus I was really busy all day yesterday, so I have a pile of homework I gotta do right now plus chores for today AND yesterday : (**

**SAVE THE CHEESEPUFFS, THEY'RE ILLEGAL IN SOME COUNTRIES!!!!**

**REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

Things I wanted to write, but I restrained myself from:

Living Nightmares:

_Tears that had long dried up began to leak through my closed eyes and I managed to find my voice just enough to scream._

_But it wasn't me screaming. It wasn't even screaming. It was _laughing_. The sound was loud, and different pitches meaning multiple people were in the room._

_My eyes snapped open. Sure enough, I wasn't in the alley anymore. I was on a bed, a nice one at that. Gold silk sheets with a large black comforter covered my body, apparently thoroughly healed, keeping me cozy and warm. _

_Sitting up, I looked around the room and was shocked to see it was Edward's. There was no mistaking it, other than the addition of the bed everything was the same. Well, except for the scene taking place in front of the sofa which had been pushed against the wall._

_The entire Cullen family was situated on or around the couch, laughing hysterically at Edward and Emmett as they sung Candyman by Aqua. Edward was dressed in ridiculously tight plaid skinny jeans with a purple sequined shirt singing the male's part of the song. Emmett, on the other hand, wore a pink miniskirt completely covered in rhinestones and a yellow halter singing the female's part._

_I blinked curiously, before slowly lowering myself back onto the bed, and using my pillow to block out the horrible screeching they called singing._

Reason why not: A) This has nothing to do with anything B) This defeats the point of the nightmare AND C) I seriously think I've lost my mind : D


	9. Ignorance is Bliss

**Disclaimer- **Don't own Edward, Bella, ect…but I do own some twilight t-shirts XD

**Warnings for this chap- **Just a hint of language (I spoonful of swears make the medicine go down, makes the medicine go down!)

**Songs for this chap- **(I don't know why I chose these, but yeah…) Over my Head by The Fray and Crush by Cute Is What We Aim For

**This chap is for:**

**The color black is mising (sorry, your name wouldn't come up the way you wrote it, it's so cool it just breaks XD)-**

I'm glad you think I'm funny! …least someone does XD

**cullencrazed2**

Don't worry, I won't : D

**Scrapmypieces**

Ohhh, I told u some hints ; P

**ilovejbfromtwilight**

Read and thou shalt know!

**Gothic Saku-chan**

I like you, you're fateful XD

**yesisalas**

THANKS!!!

**blackstargem**

Thanks for the love, here's the update (I like this trade…)

**Scarves**

Hey, after writing all that depressing stuff, I had to laugh : D

**YAY! 40+ Reviews! 30+ Favs! And 60+ Alerts!!! You RULE PEPOLES!!**

**THANKS TO ALL WHO FAVORITED OR ADDED IT TO THEIR STORY ALERT LIST!!!! **

**And so, the story begins right after Alice commands Bella to eat…**

**Chapter 8: Ignorance is Bliss**

_Edward_

_~*~_

_I've now realized_

_Just how frustrating it is_

_To know…but not know._

_~*~_

"Less chatting, more eating!" Alice said in a mocking tone, though there was a slight edge in the command. Reluctantly Bella picked up an apple out of the batch of food Alice had brought for her and took a small bite of it. She chewed the bite at an agonizingly slow pace causing a smile to tug at my lips. How I missed Bella's stubbornness. Less than four bites later she lowered the apple.

"There, happy?" I rolled my eyes at her obvious joke.

"Very funny love. That hardly counted as eating."

"But Edward, I'm really not hungry. Maybe later?" My eyes narrowed visibly as I realized that my angel was serious.

And it was like I was seeing her again for the first time. As I had realized earlier, but disregarded in favor of her more serious afflictions, Bella had lost a lot of weight seeing as her ribs were jetting beneath the unbelievably thin night gown. Now that she was awake, I could see her eyes were deeply sunken into her face. Her cheeks too were deeply sunken in her facial structure given her an overly sickly feeling. Though she'd always been pale and thin, it was easy to see her muscles and bones beneath the paper like skin as well as the veins running down her arms.

Something was very wrong, and I needed to see Carlisle, but Bella was still waiting for an answer. My instincts screamed for me to refuse, but she'd blown up once already today, twice if you counted her 'chat' with Alice, and if I mentioned my concern for her it was obvious her defenses would be on alert. Seeing no other option, I nodded just as reluctantly as Bella had been to eat the apple.

"Fine Bella, perhaps you need to go back to sleep." Bella's face fell and I could hear her heart speed up, the machine next to her beeping slightly.

"Do I have to?" Her voice was soft and pleading, begging for me to have mercy on her. From what I'd heard from her before I'd walked in it was obvious she was having nightmares, but I couldn't say that she didn't have to sleep. She'd have to face her fears eventually, humans needed to sleep.

_But _we _don't. _A small voice in the back of my head said, but I pushed the idea back into the far recess of my mind. I sighed.

"Yes love. You need all the rest you can get to get better. The nurses say that you can be discharged either tonight or tomorrow…though they believe you should stay a little longer than that, you're stable enough to go home."

The words that left my mouth were carefully worded as to not upset her again, and sadly that fact was painfully obvious from the look on my angel's face. The nurses had only admitted that Bella could be released as soon as Carlisle gave her a final physical and pronounced her stable enough to go home after much persuasion on my end. In reality both nurses had "highly recommended" that she was moved into the long term ward and given therapy as soon as possible. Bella's last reaction to therapy told me that wasn't an option as of yet, and I'd no choice to politely say that that wasn't going to happen.

That didn't deteriorate my resolve to get her help eventually however.

Bella gave a small nod, before falling back onto the mattress her feather light body not making a sound as it did. I forced myself not to cringe at the thought that she was _that_ light.

"I have to go talk to Carlisle Bella, but I promise I'll be here when you wake up this time okay?" My voice was quiet and soothing and I felt as if I was speaking to a small child, but again I was on high alert not to upset her.

"Yeah, and even if _he's _not, I'll defiantly be here." Jacob added. As much as I wanted to strangle the pup for the fact he wasn't merely talking about staying by her bedside. Still, Bella nodded and drifted off to sleep because of his help. As I stood to leave, I heard the statement we'd all been refusing to say aloud.

"She's worse off than we thought isn't she?" Alice whispered from the other side of Bella's bed so quietly even I could barely hear it. I sighed for the second time in the last five minutes.

"That's what I'm going to find out." She nodded, and I took that as my cue that I was allowed to leave.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~CHEESE~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Forks hospital is nothing compared to some of the other hospitals Carlisle, and even I on occasion, had worked in. The small building was easy to navigate through and even at a normal human pace I found myself at Carlisle's office door in less than a minute. Out of habit, I knocked on the door and waited for a permission to enter though my hand itched to turn the worn brass doorknob.

"Come in Edward." I turned the knob and walked in, confused at how he knew it was me despite my serious cause.

"You always knock 7 inches above the doorknob, 4 inches to the right." Carlisle chuckled after answering my unasked question without looking up from the box he was now unpacking. "I'm pretty sure they wood's worn in that very spot."

What with Bella's condition, I knew that there was no way I could leave her again and the family, minus one of course, was thrilled to move back in. Apparently Esme and Jasper had already begun to bring some things from the Denali house back here and was the reason why they'd yet to see Bella. Of course I'd also told them to give her some space to adjust to us being back.

"But, I'm certain you didn't leave Bella just to ask if I needed help settling in." Carlisle stated seriously, putting down the picture frame of the family having a snowball fight, and staring at me with a hard gaze.

"No, I did not." An air of silence hung after my words as I gathered my thoughts and asked the simple question, "How bad is she?"

"I told you Edward, she lost—"

"_Before_ the 'incident'." Carlisle sighed.

"She's…in bad shape Edward." My shoulders slumped, and I lowered myself into one of the nearby patient chairs letting my head fall into the palm of my hand. I'd known he was going to say this, but it was different hearing the words said aloud.

"…What's the damage?"

"She's 15 pounds underweight, highly emaciated, her hair has become extremely thin and she seems to have lost some hair. There's a very good chance she has--"

"She's anorexic." I finished his statement, feeling even more defeated than before. My surrogate father nodded sadly.

"It was highly likely that even if she'd hadn't lost so much blood that her baby wouldn't have survived another couple of weeks."

"But Carlisle, are you sure she has an eating disorder?" As obvious as the evidence was, I was begging for there to be some other reason for her physical state.

"Her father did say she was sick recently, but that couldn't result in this much weight loss. The only hope we have is that she wasn't intentionally trying to lose the weight, but…"

"That means there's something else bothering her so much that she hasn't even thought about feeding herself or she just didn't care about herself enough to eat." I finished his thought again in a soft groan.

In this case, which was better for Bella? Having an eating disorder or hating herself so much she didn't care if she lived or died? The eating disorder was easier to work with. She'd never eaten that much from the beginning, but the family grew accustomed to forcing her to eat and we'd continue to do so if that was the case. Perhaps she'd always had the illness, but because my family and I were there to force her to eat she didn't suffer from it as much? Just another thing to add to the list of ways I hurt her by leaving.

Then again, the second option was just as likely. She slit her wrists after all. Though Bella said she wasn't trying to kill herself, which points to her cutting and depression. That too would explain the lack of eating, a symptom of depression, but what was the cause of the depression? Me? Dog boy? Someone or something else? It probably wasn't the pup, which left me and the unknown. Then again, if she had anorexia nervosa that could lead to depression…

I sighed, and stood up ready to go back to my mentally ill angel.

"Thank you Carlisle."

"Edward," I stopped, mere inches from the door and turned to him, "No matter what's wrong with her, she needs to talk to someone. There's obviously something missing and though she refuses to go, you need to convince her it's the right choice. And even if she does open up to you, or anyone else, she'll still need psychiatric help."

I nodded, and then left without a word.

~*~*~*~**~*~**~*~*~**~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~**~*~pressing buttons is fun!~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*

When I returned to the room Bella was still asleep, but it wasn't the quiet peaceful slumber she'd been in when I'd left. Now she tossed and turned, her frail body knotted in the bed sheets clinging to her body now covered in a thin layer of sweat. Her mouth was slightly open, small groans or whimpers coming from the small gap. In a blink of an eye, I was at her side, standing next to my sister and parallel from the mutt.

"What's wrong?"

"It's just another nightmare." Alice answered her voice in a hard whisper, telling me this wasn't _just_ a nightmare. Suddenly a loud moan of pain came from my tortured angel, stopping our conversation.

"No, don't!" We all stood ridged and silent by her side.

"Please! Don't!" She was sobbing now, tears falling for her clenched eyes. My arms twitched to wipe them away, but Alice held it back.

"_We need to see if she says anything that might help."_ I nodded reluctantly. It pained me to see my angel like this and not be able to comfort her in anyway. Suddenly her body relaxed slightly.

"Edward." Bella croaked her throat now dry from overuse. I smiled at the peaceful look that fell over her face. The look didn't last very long though.

"No! Edward! No! Please! I didn't mean to! I didn't want to! No! Please, don't! Not again, not again…" Bella sat straight up, gasping for air, making us all jump in surprise. Tears were still running down her eyes and small sobs broke through her gasps, as her eyes frantically searched the room, darting from one side to another, before they stopped on me.

Bella whimpered like an injured puppy, scooting back slightly and difficultly because of the sheets she was still tangled in until she ran into Jacob's chest. She flinched again, and scooted away until she hit the metal pole to the hospital bed. It was only then that she stopped, pulling her knees into her chest and gripping them with her thin arms. The entire time her eyes never left mine, and for the first time since waking she spoke.

"I'm sorry Edward, I didn't want to, I know I shouldn't have, I should've done something, I know he's right, I'm didn't mean to, I didn't know, I, I, I!" The words left her mouth in gush of words reminding me or a broken dam letting all the water behind it surge into the valley.

"Shush, Bella, Shush." She shook her head violently, her eyes focused on a spot on the bed sheet as she refused to look me in the eye anymore. "Please Bella, what are you talking about? The baby?" She shook her head again, then stopped, nodded, then shook her head again. "Someone else then?"

This time she didn't move. Instead she froze and slowly raised her head until we were looking eye to eye again. Her big brown eyes were opened wide and filled with pain and fear. Then she looked away again and began fingering the sheet she was still cocooned in.

"Bella," I persisted, speaking softly as if I were speaking to a guilty child who thought they were in trouble. "Bella, tell me sweetie."

"You'd get mad."

"I could never be mad at you." She shook her head.

"Yes you would, it was all my fault. I didn't listen." Tear began to fall from her eyes again. "I didn't listen and I was punished for it."

My eyes hardened, and I clenched my teeth in anger and frustration. Alice's hand which I'd long forgotten was still on my arm tightened to a point that I should've been worrying that she was going to break it. Across the bed the dog clenched and unclenched his fists repeatedly, and had I not been intent on finding out what Bella had to say, I'd have told him to leave.

"Punished in what way Bella?" I said through my still clenched teeth. Bella sobbed.

"I should've listened to you." She stopped. The heart monitor which had slowed down after her traumatic episode mere moments before began to beep loudly, slowly picking up speed.

"Bella, calm down." The machine continued to speed up and Bella was gasping for air. "Fuck!" I swore under my breath, as I pushed Alice out of the way and gripped Bella's shoulder. "Get Carlisle! Bella, you need to calm down, you're having a panic attack!"

Bella's eyes shot up to mine wide with terror. I surge of hope went through me hoping she'd calm down more, but that hope was slashed when she continued.

"I killed the baby!" She struggled with the words between gasps of air and throbbing sobs. The heart monitor behind me was racing, but she wasn't listening for my pleas to calm down. "It's all my fault!" At that last outburst her body jerked and began to spasm.

Luckily that's when Carlisle and a string of nurses came in.

"Edward! Move!" Without hesitation I moved out of the way letting Carlisle take charge, because as much as I wanted to help her myself we still needed to keep our cover. And so I stood helplessly on the far side of the room with my sister and the werewolf who felt just as helpless as I did, and I didn't even need Jasper's power to know it.

"Edward…" I looked over to my sister whose eyes were wide with shock and fear. I shook my head stiffly and turned back to my angel.

There was no way it could be what we thought might have happened…it just couldn't be.

**YAY! It's out : P**

**Sorry, I wasn't in the mood for writing last weekend, don't know why, I just couldn't bring myself to do it T-T**

**For all those people who wanted to know "When/Is Bella going to tell them!?" Well, there you go!**

**Not really XD**

**Don't worry, next chap is the "reveal" : D**

**Also, I've actually been reading BOOKS instead of FANFIC O.o (shock and awe!)**

**Yup here's 3 good reads I've just read/am reading.**

**Cut by Patricia Mccormick ****(Wonder what this is about…?)**

**Eighth Grade Bites by Heather Brewer**** (Really funny/suspenseful quick read!)**

**The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins (Author of the "Gregor the Overlander Books") ****(It's addicting : D)**

**NOW SINCE YOU HAVE READ, YOU MUST REVIEW!!!**

**It's what keeps me going, and why I'm willing to get in trouble to write XD**

Things I wanted to write, but I restrained myself from:

Ignorance is Bliss:

"She's…in bad shape Edward." My shoulders slumped, and I lowered myself into one of the nearby patient chairs letting my head fall into the palm of my hand. I'd known he was going to say this, but it was different hearing the words said aloud.

"…What's the damage?"

"Well I'm pretty sure there's a screw loose somewhere, because the engine's not working too good. The body defiantly needs a new repair job, there's dents where dents aren't suppose to be, and the best thing to do is just strip 'er down and start from there."

"…I was talking about Bella, Carlisle."

"I was too."

Reason why not:I'm not into metaphors very much, and not very serious neither : D


	10. Let's Start a Riot

**Disclaimer- **Don't own the characters, but I did write this story, does that count for somein? No? T-T

**Warnings for this chap- **Language (which I'm no longer aloud to say out loud T-T)

**Songs for this chap- **Riot by Three Days Grace (The titles are a big hint XD)

**This chap is for:**

**blackstargem**

I'm glad you love it! You were the first reviewer : D

**Thexlightxwithinxthexdarkness**

Please, I gots my own ninja XD

**Baybegrl0703**

I'd NEVER make a bellaxjacob story!!! (cross my heart, hope to die, I will stick a needle in your eye ; P)

**GothicaGirl-911**

I'm updating! I'm updating!!!

**MrsCullen2992**

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOU HELP! YOU RULE!!!

**...-**

REALLY? O.o I'm not very funny when I want to be : ( I probably couldn't get a whole way through, but I may try : D

**Shewhoshallwrite**

I'm a sad person, sorry : D (yes, I know I just smiled XD)

**Scrapmypieces**

You'd be surprised by how much people don't see because they don't WANT to see it -_-' I know this prob don't sound good, but I'm glad you're addicted XD

**Dinloth**

THANKS SO MUCH!!!

**OMG, ONE REVIEW SHORT OF 60! ONE FAV SHORT OF 50! And 80+ Alerts!!! WHAT'S UP WITH BEING ONE SHORT?!??! (I like round numbers!)**

**THANKS TO ALL WHO FAVORITED OR ADDED IT TO THEIR STORY ALERT LIST!!!! **

**Chapter 9: PART I: Let's Start**

_Bella_

_~*~_

_Secrets got me here,_

_So the truth should have freed me._

_Sadly, it didn't._

_~*~_

When I came to, I felt as if I'd be hit over the head with a shovel. My head had already been in enough pain, but now if felt as it was on fire AND pounding at the same time. A small groan rose from the bottom of my throat and I opened my eyes only to close them again due to the brightness of the hospital lights.

What happened? I remember sleeping, how could one forget such a vivid nightmare? Everyone I love slowly walking away from me as I screamed helplessly that I was sorry but my own voice was drowned off by a baby's crying and men's laughter. A shiver went up and down my spine. It may not have been as realistic as the last nightmare, but I couldn't help but imagine that they would leave me eventually. Alice, Jacob, Edward…they were just bidding their time.

But then? What happened after that? I'm sure I woke up, I doubt I could stay sleeping after that, unless perhaps the doctors sedated me, which would explain why I was so groggy and why I didn't have anymore nightmares once I fell "asleep". Actually, it's the most logical explanation I have.

"Bella?"

Involuntarily my eyes snapped open at the sound of my name. The bright lights blinded me again, but this time I blinked rapidly so that my eyes could adjust. After a few seconds the lights became bearable, and I could make out the petite figure at the side of my bed.

"Good morning, Alice." I said while attempting to smile, but instead cringing at how sore everything was, including my throat.

"It's actually about dinner time Bella." Alice replied, her own attempt at a smile just as pathetic as my own.

I nodded slightly while examining my surroundings. When I saw that we were the only ones in the room, I looked to Alice with confusion written all over my face.

"Jake had to go make sure his dad was okay, and Edward's just down the hall talking to Carlisle about you—r final physical." If Alice noticed the suspicious look I shot her, she ignored it and continued on. "Oh! And Charlie came in while you were sleeping. He was here for a couple hours, but the office called him back in."

The room fell into an awkward silence after that, but neither of us attempted to break it. Alice sat there silently, her eyes purposely closed, causing me to I assume she was looking into the future, more than likely mine by the small looks she was throwing my way whenever her eyes did open. I, on the other hand, was just happy that I would be leaving soon, though I was slightly put off by Alice's answer. She'd been about to say something else…or maybe she added that last part on? Unable to piece it together myself, I decided to ask another and slowly pull the information out of Alice.

"How long was I out?"

It was quiet for a few seconds and I was unsure that Alice had even heard me. However, when she opened her eyes, she sighed and looked at me, purposely in the eyes.

"7 hours, the sedatives wore off about an hour ago. We've been expecting you to wake up for a while now." So I'd been right about the sedatives.

"Why was I given sedatives?" Alice's eyebrow rose slightly.

"You don't remember." It wasn't a question as much as it was a statement, and it put me even more on edge then I'd first been when I woke up.

"No." I replied, sifting my body weight slightly, and wincing as pain shot up my leg where I could only guess where they'd administered the shot.

Alice's mouth opened, ready to answer me, when the door opened. Edward strode into the room with long, quick strides, followed by Carlisle who walked more slowly as if weary of me. From the corner of my eye I could see Alice's eyes jump from looking at me to Carlisle, to Edward, then back again to me, then repeating the process before settling on Edward. My own eyes snapped to Edward, searching for some kind of reply. I knew from experience that he was probably having a conversation with someone in his head, and the slightest nod or eye movement could be an answer to the silent question. Sure enough, he gave a slight shake, meaning no to whatever was asked.

Turning his attention to me, Edward gave me my favorite crooked grin, but it didn't reach his eyes.

"Good morning sleepy beauty." His voice was still tired and I couldn't help but feel guilty knowing I was the cause of his exhaustion. "I brought Carlisle to give you your final physical so you can finally go home."

Behind me, I could feel Alice's glance burning into my back. Edward's and Carlisle's eyes too were on me, waiting for my response.

"Great!" I said with as much enthusiasm as I could muster. The tense atmosphere of the room instantly deflated. How were they expecting me to react anyway? Why would I not be happy to leave this stupid hospital? Carlisle nodded.

"Alright then Bella, we'll get started right away." Carlisle shot a look at Edward, who nodded and began to walk away. Involuntarily my hand shot out to grab Edward's arm.

"No!" Everyone's eyes were on me. I could feel a blush rise in my cheeks, but I didn't let go. "No, Edward can stay. I don't mind." My voice was meek, but I was content with my choice. For the first time since I'd seen him again, Edward smiled a real smile that reached his eyes. Again Carlisle nodded.

"If that's what you want Bella."

With that the examination began. In one sweeping movement the bed sheet was pulled off of me. Cool air consumed me making me feel as if I had nothing on at all instead of the thin nightgown that clung to my figure. I could feel the multiple sets of eyes transfixed on my barely clad body, and my heart speed up drastically.

"Bella," a man's voice said in my ear. It was then that I realized a hand was gripped on my shoulder. My mind went into overdrive. I turned to voice, his face was somewhat recognizable, even though my vision was blurred, but I don't know from where. His mouth was still moving, but I couldn't hear his voice over the beating of my own heart. I nodded to whatever this man was saying, for lack of a better response. Then, I felt a cold hand pushing up my nightgown.

Now, I began to really panic. I jerked away from the hand, curling my leg under me while trying to suppress a scream. The first man, the recognizable one, gripped my arm tighter as I struggled to get out of his grip. Ice cold realization flowed through my veins as I concluded that the recognizable men had to be one of my attackers from before. I didn't even try to hold back my scream now as I thrashed about.

"LET GO OF ME!!!" I screamed, as I tugged at the grip. Two more hands grabbed curled legs, and I screamed again. "DON'T TOUCH ME! DON'T EVER TOUCH ME!" The hands however didn't give into my commands, instead gripping harder to the point of pain. I wasn't the only one screaming either.

"BELLA! BELLA, STOP! STOP! IT'S US BELLA! IT'S ME, EDWARD!" I stopped at the last word, my entire body shaking. My captors calmed slightly too, their grips even loosening slightly. I could feel that they were waiting for me to say something, but I could only stare at the man. His face was still blurred, probably from the tears, and I still couldn't figure out who he was. But I knew who he wasn't.

"You're not Edward." Everyone tensed again. "Edward never came. It was all part of my imagination. I don't know if I was just stupid or crazy, or both, but I went to _them_. I told Jessica to go away; I told her I'd be right there…. They told me he wouldn't want me. They told me all he wanted to do was fuck me." The blurred man's arm gripped my shoulder tighter. "Now that I had already been fucked, they said I was just a piece of shit. A worthless—useless—dirty—piece of shit." I choked on the words between sobs, repeating the words that had been repeating in my head aloud.

"I—said his name. For the—first time since—he left, I—was able to say his name." I sobbed, looking down at my lap. How could I be telling this man, the man who could have been my attackers or maybe even a stranger that I just thought looked familiar, what I'd been hiding all this time? It felt like the words were just falling from my mouth as water falls from a waterfall. Suddenly, the hand left my shoulder. Shocked, I looked up.

"Were you raped?" The voice was shaky, but cold. I starred blankly up at the familiar man in surprise. "Tell me."

"Yes." I said weakly. With that one word, my vision cleared. Tears still blurred my sight, but it wasn't the same blur that made things unrecognizable. No, now I could see exactly who the familiar man was, and why he'd been so familiar. My eyes were the size of saucers as I realized how I'd reacted to the physical and what I had just said. "Oh god, Edward."

Edward was pissed. Actually, he was furious. His face was twisted up in a way I'd had never seen before, in a mix between a glare and a sneer. Edward's onyx eyes were burning with killer intent, his forehead furrowed in deep though, as his fingers twitched at his side.

"Edward?" My voice was shaky and scared, not of him but oh what he may do. His name seemed to pull him from his thoughts, and faster than I could see, he'd punched a hole in the wall. Before any of us could react, he made two more holes into the wall.

"EDWARD!" Carlisle shouted, instantly holding him back. I too moved forward to help, only to be in cased by another set of arms belonging to Alice. Edward snarled angrily.

"LET GO OF ME CARLISLE!"

"NOT UNTIL YOU CALM DOWN!"

"WHY THE HELL WOULD I FUCKING CALM DOWN?!"

"YOU'RE SCARING BELLA EDWARD!" Alice screamed her mouth by my ear. Edward stopped struggling, his head snapping to me. I hadn't realized I'd started to tremble again until now, and I could still feel the tears soaking my cheeks. His eyes didn't lose their killer intent, but his mouth drooped into a frown. With a jerk, he was out of Carlisle's arms, and pinching the bridge of his nose between his forefinger and thumb.

A wave of nostalgia hit me as I was reminded of the time he _had_ saved me in Port Angeles when he'd begged me to distract him so he didn't go back and kill those men.

"I'm sorry, I should've listened." I croaked, my throat sore from all the screaming and sobbing. Edward looked up, meeting my eyes.

"I'm sorry too."

Then, he turned around and walked out the door. Somewhere down the hall, we heard glass break, but I was too preoccupied with the breaking of my heart.

~*~**~*~*~**~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~~*~*~*~

**PART II: A Riot**

_Edward_

_~*~_

_My rage got a hold_

_On me, and I'm struggling_

_To break out of it._

_~*~_

"Yes." The world slowed to a halt. Images swarmed my head of my love screaming in pain as men defiled my angel, their dirty hands on her body, venom pooled in my mouth. I swear on my very existence that I would seek revenge on the monsters that could do this, and I'd make sure they died a slow and painful death. New images, images of slow and torturous methods of death, filled my head and my hands twitched in anticipation.

"Edward?" Bella's voice brought me back to reality. Her brown eyes were wide in fear, and all I could think of was she probably looked at her assailants the exact same way. I couldn't contain myself any longer. At vampire speed, I turned and punched a hole in the wall, careful not to break down the entire wall. This restraint, however, did little to calm me, and I was able to make two more holes before Carlisle got a hold of me.

"EDWARD!" Carlisle shouted as I struggled to get out of his grip. I snarled back in reply.

"LET GO OF ME CARLISLE!"

"NOT UNTIL YOU CALM DOWN!"

"WHY THE HELL WOULD I FUCKING CALM DOWN?!"

"YOU'RE SCARING BELLA EDWARD!" Alice screamed. Instantly, I stopped, my head snapping to Bella. Her eyes were beyond wide by now, seeming to just be pools of liquid fear. The sobbing had stopped momentarily before, but now fresh tears ran down her cheeks landing on her trembling lap. I frowned knowing full well I was the cause of her pain. With a jerk, I was out of Carlisle's arms, and pinching the bridge of my nose between my forefinger and thumb.

There was no way I could stay here, not now. I had to get away, at least until I could calm down. I was only hurting Bella by staying here, I was only scaring her. But she'd hate me for leaving her like this in her time of need, she's just admitted to me she was raped. The very recollection of the fact sent a fresh wave of killer intent through my body.

"I'm sorry, I should've listened." I raised my glance and saw her pained face. In that instant I made up my mind.

"I'm sorry too."

Avoiding everyone's eyes, I turned and walked out the door. If I could cry, I would've been, instead I settled for knocking over a supplies cart on the way out.

~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~~*~*~*~**~~*~*~**~*~~*~**~~*~*~*~**~*~Run away, love, run away love~*~*~*~*~*~*

I hadn't realized I was on my way home until I got there. The garage door was open, showing that all cars minus Alice's and Carlisle's were present, as well as several boxes and ten suitcases, hinting that Emmett and _Rosalie_ were back home. Rosalie's name was thought with a sour tone. After all, who wants to deal with a bitchy Rosalie, which she was bound to be since I cut her vacation short because of "a stupid human who doesn't even want to live." Sure enough, I was less than ten steps into the house before Rosalie came out to fight.

"Well _you're _here sooner than expected. Where the hell is the little bag of blood? First you make us leave for her, then you expect us just to come back as soon as you find out she's in trouble. I thought you _wanted_ her to die." Gritting my teeth, I ignored her and began walking up the steps. Rosalie blocked my way. "Why aren't you with her anyway?"

"It's none of your business, Rosalie." I said through still clenched teeth, as I attempted to walk around her. She didn't budge.

"Like hell it's not. I came back from my honeymoon to unpack, now why aren't you with her? Did she, or did she not just try to kill herself? Because, last I heard, she tried to off herself because you weren't there."

Before I could stop myself, I flipped said blonde vampire over my shoulder and slamming onto the floor below. Just as quickly, I was imbedded into the wall across the staircase.

"What the fuck Edward!" Emmett yelled, the source of the previous hit, before running over to Rosalie who was already being helped up by Esme. Jasper was at my side in an instant, not to help me, but to restrain me. I, however, was not about to stand here and argue with my family, and tore out of my brother's grasp before storming up the stairs.

"Edward!" Esme's worried voice traveled after me, but I blocked her out with my door. But even after I'd blocked out their voices, I couldn't block out their thoughts that now swarmed my head. In frustration, I let out a long scream before taking a lamp and tossing it at the wall. Said lamp broke into a thousand pieces, and the voices in my head grew softer. By now, my breath came in short quick gasps of unnecessary air, and my body was sore from that hit. With a groan, I let myself plop onto the couch and my head fell into my hands.

Hopelessness, frustration, anger, sadness, and guilt were only the top five emotions I was having right now. Had I been feeling less sorry for myself, I'd had been concerned for Jasper's well being, knowing all too well that he would be suffering too with the strength of my emotions. All I could hope now though was that Bella would forgive me for leaving her…again.

I didn't get to wallow in self-misery for long though; after only a few minutes, there was a knock at the door.

"Go away." I said, without much enthusiasm. It was no surprise that my visitor didn't listen. What was a surprise was that my visitor was Rosalie. I groaned. "What now, Rosalie? Do you want me to apologize?"

"No, I don't care about that, I want my answer." I shot her a suspicious look.

"Why do you care?" She rolled her eyes, before walking over to stand directly in front of me, akimbo.¹

"I may not like the stupid human, but if you love her as much as you say you do, then you should be with her." Now I was extremely suspicious. "What happened?"

I sighed. "Bella…was raped." At my last words, Rosalie's body stiffened. Neither of us said anything for a moment, letting the words hang in the air. Slowly, Rosalie walked over and slapped. Instantly I was on my feet.

"WHAT THE FUCK EDWARD, WHY ARE YOU HERE?!?!"

"I couldn't stay there." I snarled, turning away from her.

"AND WHY NOT?! SHE NEEDS YOU RIGHT NOW!"

"I need to get away!"

"DO YOU THINK SHE CAN GET AWAY?!" Silence filled the room again, before Rosalie continued, her voice softer but just as angry. "Do you think _she_ can run away from the fact? Do you think _she_ can just pretend it didn't happen?" I lowered my gaze.

"Trust me, she probably tries to, but she never can. You know why? Because it fucking happened Edward, there's no way to go back and change that. I know you want to go hunt down whoever did this, but she's not at that stage yet Edward." Slowly I lowered myself back onto the couch, letting my head fall back into its place in my hands.

"By the way you're acting; I bet you're probably the first person she's ever told. She probably hates herself even more than she hates the man who raped her. She needs someone to be there, to love her when she can't love herself. Instead, you run out on her." Rosalie stopped again, this time waiting for my response.

"What…what do I do then Rosalie?"

"Go back to her, Stupid. If you can't figure that out, then I don't see why she needs an idiot like you, anyway." With that, Rosalie rolled her eyes once more, and began to walk out the door.

"Wait, Rose!" She stopped, and turned back to look at me with an annoyed expression. "Will…she ever get better." Rosalie sighed.

"What do you mean by better? She may stop constantly thinking about it, blaming herself, hating herself, or whatever she's doing, but she'll never forget it if that's what you mean." Rosalie's voice got quieter. "It'll always be somewhere inside her head, even if she's not thinking about it. But every once in a while, she won't be able to stop herself from thinking about it, as much as she wishes she didn't. That day's far away though, Edward, and you'll have to be there to guide her every step of the way."

Without another word, Rosalie walked out the door. Sighing, I stood up. After all, I had some apologizing to do.

**¹ I LOVE THIS WORD! Akimbo, akimbo, akimbo : D (If you don't know what that means, it means "with hands on hips"**

**YAY!!! BELLA FINALLY TOLD HER SECRET, AND I FINALLY UPDATED!**

**Sorry I didn't update for the last two weeks, but blame stupid Charles Dickens and my teachers "Great Expectations" (Wow that was a crappy pun -_-')**

**You can also dish out some blame to my family and friends who are all like "YOU NEED A LIFE! LET'S GO TO THE MOVIES!" (Which by the way, did anyone else think there was too much sex in the Watchmen? I liked all the violence though :P)**

**Also, I hope you like Edward's reaction. I tried to make it pretty close to what I'd thought he'd really act, but I did make it over exaggerated so I could have Rosalie's reaction. (I know I made her act mean at first, but hey, she is!)**

**Emmett, Jasper, and Esme still don't know about Bella, but I'm sure their Spouses will tell them XD**

**Well, it's spring break now! That means I hope to get another chapter up this week :D After that though, they'll prob be another break between updates (I have 7 projects due in 3 weeks!) Plus this took me like 6 hours too write!**

**PS: I'm lookin for a Beta : D Pm me if you want the job and I shall see if I like you! (I prob will if you say you're on at LEAST every weekend, cuz that's when I write) The perps of this being: You get to read the chapter before ANYONE ELSE (aren't you all special XD)**

**REMEMBER TO REVIEW!!! It makes me be like "Screw English, I'm gonna write fanfiction instead!"**

Things I wanted to write, but I restrained myself from:

Part I: Let's Start:

What happened? I remember sleeping, how could one forget such a vivid nightmare? Edward had been dressed up as a clown, performing some kind of spell that raised all the animals from the pet cemetery up from their graves. I screamed helplessly I was sorry, but he continued to laugh as undead Chihuahuas ate at my legs. Obviously, the drugs I'd been given had some side affects I wasn't told about. Either that or I really needed to lay off the horror flicks.

Reason why not:I'm serious, _my_ mind is on drugs. I haven't even watched those movies -_-'

Part II: A Riot:

Before I could stop myself, I flipped said blonde vampire over my shoulder and slamming onto the floor below. In an instant, Rosalie was back up and looked mad as hell.

"You are so going down."

"Bring it Bitch" The words barely left my mouth when Rosalie let out an amazonian battle cry, jumped onto the balcony of the second floor, then sent a flying kick my way. The impact sent me flying into the wall, imbedding me in plaster. I stood up ready to retaliate when a soft bell rang out. Jasper appeared at my side with a towel and a bucket of water.

"You got the first hit in that round Champ, but she got you good there. Hit here with a couple right hooks and we'll be a shoe in for the championship belt."

"What the fuck Jasper, this isn't boxing!" With that, I shook off the towel and walked out the front door.

Reason why not:I've been watching too many violent movies XD


	11. It's no surprise that in the end

**Disclaimer- **Don't own Bella, or Edward, or Alice, or Carlisle, or vampires in general, or bananas……wow I don't own a lot of things XD

**Warnings for this chap- **None! O.o

**Songs for this chap- Part I: **Sorrow by Flyleaf (I had this for one of my other chaps, but when I read over this one it fit so much better!), **Part II:** What's left of me by Nick Lache (sp?), **Part III: **Lifeline by Papa Roach

**I dedicate this chapter to:**

**melstewarthm****:**

Arg! Wasn't he? I'm so glad that's through! Plus, my teacher so gave me a grade that was so unfair!

**shewhoshallwrite****:**

Yeah, I guess it was -_-'

**Kaiistar:**

We'll see : P

**Blackstargem:**

I tell you, I don't know where that stuff comes from! XD

**Yesisalas:**

Thanks!

**Americasweetie:**

Here it is ^^

**MrsCullen2992:**

HA! You're mentioned again!!! : P You really don't know how much I REALLY wanna put that stuff in T-T

**Maggiepie34:**

Thank thy!

**Gothic Saku-chan:**

I'm more surprised when people think their minds aren't on drugs….

**thecolorblackismissing (it does not like the fawesome way u do it T-T):**

Don't apologize! OUTBURST RULE!

**Baybegrls0703:**

Thank ya! I just love random stuff ^^

**sassyforest:**

Oooooooo, then you probably not happy with how long this chapter took ^^' sorry!

**Dinloth:**

I love tension! …….cept when I'm in the middle of it : D

**Anima Bella:**

Thank!

**H Toones:**

Thanks! I like to leave people with something happy, not depressing

**Scrapmypieces:**

I'm tryin to remember if I told you already, it's a Naruto fanfic, but also, I wrote a random Easter story for Twilight XD (I tell ya, I'm random!) My parents are still like: LET'S DO SOMETHING RANDOM! Last night we played Monopoly and it got VIOLENT O.o

**Sailboatsnbeaches:**

Thanks so much! Lol, I do the same thing : P

**XXXbloodyXheartXXX:**

Thanks, yeah I love intense stuff though -_-'

**Feenrai:**

OMG! I'm glad you're outta the hospital and hope you're okay O.o

**Au-Gold:**

BAD SARITA, BAD!

**Stupid Shiny Twilight Fan:**

Thanks! By the way, I love ur penname XD

**Redeyedvixen:**

Cool! I love makin people laugh ^^

**Janus god:**

Glad u liked it!

**ALSO THANKS TO ALL WHO STORY ALERTED AND FAVORITED THIS STORY, I LOVE YOU GUYS IN A NON-CREEPY STALKERISH WAY!!!! : D**

**AUTHOR NOTE: (should read!) **

Hey, everybody. I'm sorry to inform you:

This is the last chapter.

Yup, shocking I know. I was hoping this story was going to be at LEAST 15 chapters, but the reason it's not is the same reason why it took so long for this update:

I was banned from writing this story. When my mum found it, she got really angry and made sure my dad agreed to ban me from writing. That means I'm somewhat taking a risk by even writing this last chapter, but I just COULDN'T leave it unfinished for all my fans T-T So, that's why you'll find no swears or anything in this chap. (Which by the way was REALLY hard for me, and I'm not allowed to swear at all anymore! T-T)

I'm so sorry everyone; this pains me as much as it does you ;_;

**Part I: It's No Surprise**

_Bella_

_~*~_

_Can't you see that I_

_Laugh, because if I didn't_

_I'd die from the pain?_

_~*~_

After the noise died off in the hallway, the room was silent. What's worse, I knew it was going to _stay_ quiet until I said something. Both Alice's and Carlisle's eyes were fixed on me, and I made sure to keep my eyes fixed on the door. Is it stupid to hope that he's going to walk back in any second and say, "Just joking"? Is it stupid to hope that this was just another one of my nightmares? I waited a couple more seconds in the tense silence unwilling to accept the reality I knew long ago was coming. Of course, you can't really hide for reality too long.

I laughed. Not a quiet giggle, but a full out laugh too. Alice jumped at the noise, as laughter was obviously not what she was expecting. So much for being able to see the future, huh? That made me laugh again, this time a little louder and more prolonged.

"Bella…" From the corner of my eye, I could see Carlisle stepping closer to me, cautiously as if I was dangerous.

A vampire afraid of _me_? I started laughing even harder. Please, I trip over ants. I'm about as dangerous as a sloth. By now I was laughing hysterically, and I was aware that I couldn't stop. But then I stopped trying to stop.

After all, when was the last time I laughed like this, with actual humor instead of self-pity or doubt? Certainly not since Edward left. Not even when Edward came back. That's the reason Carlisle and Alice are even worried about me. I should be going crazy for losing Edward, right? But what's there to go crazy about? Okay, so he's smart, caring, strong, and looks like a Greek god, he left didn't he? It's not like I didn't realize that I'm just a stupid, plain human who's easily replaceable.

My heart ached at the thought, but my laughing didn't stop. So what if he left me? I knew he wouldn't have wanted me for long anyway. He's so _perfect_, I trip upstairs. Even before I'd gotten in this condition, I knew our love was temporary. I knew one day whatever clouded his vision would be unveiled and he'd see me for what I really was: just another distraction. What had he seen in me anyway? Maybe I wasn't the only stupid one in this relationship. Perhaps we were both blind to reality.

This entire time, I'd never stopped laughing and my oxygen was close to zero. Carlisle was yelling at me to calm down and I could feel Alice's cool hands gripping mine. My laughs were now gasps for air and my hand jumped to my throat as the much need oxygen flooded my lungs. I looked at them, my once second family, and saw the worry on their faces. My heart fell, and I was finally aware of just how much it hurt.

"I'm sorry." I gasped, though I was no longer suffocating. Alice shushed me.

"It's okay Bella, its okay. We're here, and it's okay to cry." I looked at her confusedly, as my hand moved up from its place on my throat to my face. I was shocked to find that indeed it was wet with tears, though I had no idea I had even started crying.

When had it come to be like this? When did it come to the point that my entire being was for Edward, and lived for him only? It felt as if I was a wooden puppet who'd had his strings cut mid-performance but was still expected to continue like nothing happened. I knew I couldn't believe him when he said he still loved me, like he ever loved me at all. I tried with all my might not to believe any of his lies. But his words were poison, slowly destroying my walls I'd made to keep me standing when he wasn't here. Now I'm back to square one.

"Alice," I asked after another wave of tears died down.

"What Bella?"

"I need you to answer something for me." The words were catching in my throat. "And—be honest."

"Of course Bella." She said with a suspicious look.

"Was…Edward happier without me?"

"No." I sobbed at her response. "He was downright miserable when he left. Every day he'd lock himself in his room and refused to speak to any of us. Eventually, he couldn't even stand being in the same house with his family and left us too. When he left you, he was even worse than he'd been before he met you, and he was tearing our family apart."

I'd prepared myself for the worse, I'd expected her to say they were all happier without me, but what she said hit me even harder. I was nothing but a source of misery for the Cullens; they'd be so content before I waltzed into their lives. When I was with them, I brought trouble, and when I wasn't I caused conflict.

"I'm…sorry." I was sobbing so hard, I had to fight to get the words out, but I _needed_ to apologize.

"There's nothing to be sorry for, Bella." Carlisle answered before Alice could. "None of this is your fault. If anything, it's my son's." He paused for a second, planning his words.

"Edward has never had someone like you in his life, as long as it has been, and I think you caught him…off guard. Thanks to his powers, he always has known what a person is thinking and he uses that knowledge to shape how to act around that person. With you, he's at a loss without that skill, and what's more he realizes that you are the meaning for his entire being and he must keep you happy and safe. A feat, that I must add, that is not an easy one in the least. Still, he doubts a truth that has been obvious since the very beginning: you love him just as much as he does you. Because of that self doubt he has caused so much misery, not only for you, but for the family too."

"But, Carlisle…wouldn't it just have been better if I never met Edward?" Carlisle smiled sadly.

"You wouldn't think of that as an option if you'd seen him before Bella. Before you came along, I felt guilty for having bitten him. Sure, he was alive to walk around, but he was dead inside. He was filled with nothing but self hatred and disgust, and I felt as if I'd robbed him of that innocence I'd told you of before we left. I'd been that way once too, but I had my beliefs of a chance at an afterlife and soon a family to rid me of those feeling. Now, Edward has you."

I shook my head, unwilling to believe his words. Edward would've found someone eventually, someone much better than I was. It was only a matter of time until Edward feel in love, I was just a distraction. Besides, if what Carlisle said was true, why wasn't he here?

"You're wrong Carlisle. He threw me away, he doesn't have me anymore." Alice opened her mouth to say something, but I cut her off. "Can I be alone for a bit?"

Carlisle and Alice exchange glances. They began whispering too lowly and quickly for me to catch, throwing glances my way every few seconds.

"Okay Bella." Alice said slowly. "But we'll be right outside if you need anything, just yell, okay?" I nodded, and the two left the room.

As the door shut behind them, I curled my knees into my chest with my chin resting on my knees. The silence that draped the room was eerie and sent a shiver through my spine. The sun had begun to set without my notice and the room was filled with shadows that stretched across the floor and walls. I felt like a little kid again, staring at the shadows trying to make out what they were. Each dark surface sent a tingle down my spine, as if I was expecting it to come and attack me. Lately, I'd learned that real monsters did exist, and now they seemed to have followed me wherever I went.

I clutched my knees tighter at that thought, and slowly began to rock in place. Still uneasy in the silence of my room, I began to hum the first song that came to mind. It took me three bars to realize it was my lullaby; the one Edward always hummed to me to help me sleep. Fresh tears slid down my face, and my humming was often interrupted by sobs.

My memory was so vivid of him, like it used to be. I could feel his cool hand on my elbow, his breath on my ear, as he hummed my lullaby with perfect rhythm and pitch.

Suddenly, I stopped humming. I'd forgotten the next line. My heart ached when I realized that soon I'd lose all my memories of Edward just as suddenly. Just like before…

People's voices interrupted my despair, though I couldn't make out what was being said. A high pitched female's voice, obviously Alice's, sounded angry and deadly. A softer voice, probably Carlisle's, sounded soothing, but strained. Another voice was practically growling and was the loudest of the three.

My heart beat faster in my chest. It couldn't be whom I hoped it was, I had to be imagining it. Sure enough, the door swung open, and the angel that was the source of all my pain walked in.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

**Part II: That in the End**

_Edward_

_~*~_

_You'd be surprised how_

_I would go just to get_

_Her back in my arms._

_~*~_

It'd been less than an hour since I had run off, and yet the atmosphere of the hospital had changed drastically. The waiting room was completely empty of car crash visitors, seeing as they'd slowly been discharged and visiting hours were nearly over. Said room now looked sad, and lonely, as if conveying how the hospitals patients felt, especially Bella…

Without looking at the attendant, I strolled across the room, heading towards the door that lead to the ICU.

"Excuse me, sir!" She called in a squeaky voice behind me. _"JUST WHERE DOES HE THINK HE'S GOING?!" _I turned to look at her and saw a skinny young female, probably right out of nursing school. Instantly her face turned bright pink with a plus, painfully reminding me of Bella. "Um…visiting hours are over." _"But you can stay as long as you like over here with me!"_

"I'm Dr. Cullen's son, I've come to talk to him." Her blush grew until she was as red as a tomato, and she nodded fervently.

"Oh! Go right ahead!" I nodded, happy to get away from this nuisance and to Bella.

I bounded up the steps 5 at a time, and was walking down the ICU unit in seconds. My still heart ached with anticipation as I prepared what I was going to say to my love in my head. However, I didn't make it half way down the hall before I was bombarded by Alice.

"EDWARD! What do you think you're doing here!" Alice hissed, jumping from her seat on the floor outside Bella's room.

"Apologizing to Bella of course." I answered back just as angrily.

"Oh, so you think you can just come back whenever you feel like, say sorry, and everything's better! Who do you think you are?! You upped and left her after she said she was raped Edward!"

"Alice," Carlisle interfered, stepping between us. "Calm down."

"WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO ALICE?"

"You shouldn't have left her in the first place, now OR then!"

"I made mistakes Alice!" I growled.

"Well it seems like you just keep making them don't you!" Without answering her, I pushed past her and swung open the door to Bella's room.

My beaten angel stared in awe as I walked through the door. Her legs were clutched to her chest, her face was stained with tears, and I couldn't fight my urge to run over and hug her and I did just that. Unsurprisingly, she tensed in my arms and didn't move to return the hug. I expected her to relax once she'd realized what was happening, but she did no such thing.

"Edward, stop." Shocked, I let go of her and sat on the edge of her bed within arms distance. Her face was completely void of emotion. "You didn't need to come back."

Those words sent an excruciating pain through my body. So she didn't want me anymore. I'd gotten my wish, if only when it was no longer what I wished for. It's no wonder why she wouldn't, even that _dog_ would never have disowned her, let alone during her time of need. Although I'd wanted and waited for her to realize that she could do much better than me, I could not shake the despair that flooded my body. But I loved Bella, loved her with every fiber of my being, and I loved her enough to respect her wishes no matter what. I stood to leave, but she continued.

"There's no reason to force yourself to stay with me, I don't blame you for running away while you could." She clutched her knees tighter into her chest, her eyes, ones filled with tears, were focused on the bed sheet.

Leaving left my mind as I sat there and grit my teeth.

"Do you honestly believe that I left you to get away from _you_?" Big brown eyes looked up at me in confusion. "Isabella Marie Swan, you cannot honestly believe I would leave you because you were raped did you?"

"Then…why did you leave?" I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose between my forefinger and thumb.

"I left because you were raped." She looked at me even more confusedly, if that was at all possible. "I'm not as strong as you think I am, Bella. If anything I am weak compared to you, let me finish." I said, as she attempted to interrupt. "Just the very idea of what those…_men_ did to you fills me with fury. I've always had a problem with my temper Bella, as you can remember a night back in Port Angeles, and like then I needed a distraction."

"I could've been a distraction." She whispered, her voice so quiet it was barely audible. I sighed.

"But you were in no condition for me to ask that of you. As it is, you were in no condition for me to leave either, if you were not in worse of one. Still, I can't take back the fact that I let that anger cloud my judgment and I ran away, not because of you, but because of that anger. Please, Bella, please understand that even if you don't need me, I can't live in a world where you don't exist.¹"

By now, I was quite literally begging for her forgiveness, hoping that she'd find a shred of mercy left for me. Still, she shook her head.

"You don't need me Edward, you never have. The only reason you're here right now is because you feel guilty. And you don't need to Edward; this was my fault, not yours. I know you want nothing more to leave as quickly as you can right now, I know you no longer want me. You were bored with me, remember?" Her voice was so quiet and pained.

"Bella!" I laughed frustratedly. "Do you truly believe I meant it?" I remembered early, when she'd first woken up, how she thought Alice and I were hallucinations and I sighed.

"I lied, and I'm so sorry—sorry because I hurt you, sorry because it was a worthless effort. Sorry that I couldn't protect you from what I am. I lied to save you, and it didn't work. I'm sorry. But how could you believe me? After all the thousand of times I've told you I love you, how could you let one word break your faith in me? I _have_ always loved you, and I _will_ always love you."¹

I stared at her, waiting for the confirmation of her belief in my words. Instead, I saw nothing but doubt. The little color from my face drained instantly as I realized in horror that she truly believed I didn't care for her.

"You don't believe me, do you? Why can you believe the lie, but not the truth?

"It never made sense for you to love me." Her voice broke twice. "I always knew that."¹

I growled in frustration this time. Before she could even more to stop me, I captured her lips in a kiss. As careful as I wished to be, I couldn't quite stop myself from crossing the boundaries I'd built long ago. My hands ran up and down her sides, feeling the warmth of her skin through the nightgown. She moaned against my lips, and suddenly she was kissing back full force. Her hands tangled in my hair, while mine moved up to cup her face. It wasn't until I was sure she needed air that I pulled away, gasping just as she did, though unnecessarily. I grinned as I nuzzled her neck.

"Perhaps that convinced you?" She shook her head, and I snapped away from her neck to see that tears were spilling from her eyes. Pain clenched my heart, and struggled to find the words that conveyed just how much I loved her.

"Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars—points of light and reason. …And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything."¹

Understanding flooded her eyes, but she continued to shake her head.

"Your eyes will adjust."

"That's just the problem—they can't."¹ She still looked unconvinced, and I took her face into my hands.

"Bella, I've never loved someone the way I love you, and I don't want to love anyone else _but_ you. When I was gone, I spent my days wallowing in self pity and restraining myself from showing up at your window, begging for mercy. Yet, here I am now, begging for you forgiveness Bella. I know I've done nothing but cause you pain, but if you're willing to give a monster like me one more chance, I swear nothing, and I mean nothing, can ever tear me from your side…except for maybe Alice when she wants to go shopping." Bella chuckled, though it was distorted by a sob.

"You are the only reason I live anymore, Bella, and I don't ever want to see you as hurt as I've made you ever again. All I need is that one last chance. …But even if you don't give it to me, I'll understand, because you deserve better than I can ever give you, you deserve better than a monster."

I let go of her fact at those ending words, though I did not break eye contact. Her eyes were conflicted, just as I was. Because, as much as I wanted her to take me back, in the back of my mind I knew that it was selfish of me to want to keep an angel like her instead of letting her free. Finally, I could see she'd come to a decision in her eyes, though I couldn't see what that decision was.

"Please don't leave me again."

Joy overcame my being, and I brought her into another kiss. This one, she suffered no hesitation with and she seemed as ecstatic as I was. However, nobody can compete with the happiness I was feeling right now. And though my angel was battered and broken, I was willing to spend eternity putting the pieces back together.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~AWW!!!~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

**Part III: It's Our Choices That Matter**

_Bella_

_~*~_

_Life may be rough, but_

_When you're with your true love_

_None of that matters._

_~*~_

It was three days later when the nurses finally agreed to release me. I'd agreed to visit Dr. Perjas every Tuesday and Thursday, whom was actually just Jasper, but no one but the Cullens and I knew that. Charlie was even harder to convince than I was that Edward did in fact still love me, and that he was not here to hurt me again (at least I trust that he's not). Still, he and I are not allowed to go anywhere alone. Thankfully, Alice volunteered to be our supervisor so Charlie didn't have to be.

Even better news is that Charlie agreed to let me stay at the Cullen's house for at least another week, so somebody can make sure I'm eating properly and often. Apparently I am 20 pounds underweight, not that it was intentional, eating just wasn't a priority to me once Edward left. Still, people have taken to watching me eat more and more lately. Even though it's only because I'm sick, I'm still glad to have an excuse to stay with Edward all day, who agreed to stay home from school and help me catch up with the rest of the class.

Alice, however, was not letting me off the hook that easily. Since I'd lost so much weight lately, most of my clothes had become baggy and she was insistent on us shopping for an entirely new wardrobe, ASAP.

I'd been worried about staying at the house with Rosalie, but she and Emmett had visited me along with Jasper and Esme a couple days earlier and she seemed to be a lot nicer than she had previously been. Edward said that if I ever wanted to talk about what happened, Rosalie would be the best person for me to talk to. Though I'm unsure why, I'm just happy she no longer hates my guts.

"Bella." I was snapped out of my thoughts by Edward's musical voice. Unlike when I first saw him, he no longer seemed exhausted or stressed and for the last couple of days, a few of his smiles reached his eyes. "Your chariot awaits Madame." He said, gesturing to the wheelchair in his hands.

"Do I have to ride in that? I can walk just fine."

"Rules are rules." I rolled by eyes, but got up and sat in the wheel chair. Before I could adjust myself in it, Edward spun the chair sharply around making me scream.

"EDWARD!" He chuckled, and began to push me out the door, but much slower this time.

It only took a couple minutes to get down stairs. From the waiting room, I could see Edward's silver Volvo parked in front of the hospital. A rush of memories filled me and I couldn't help but smile. Finally, my stay at the hospital was over! But even if it was, my recovery was just beginning.

Unable to contain myself, I laughed aloud at the corniness of my thoughts.

"And what, may I ask, is so funny, love?" Edward asked, and I leaned as far back in the wheelchair at possible, with laughter still on my lips, to see that he had one eyebrow raised and my favorite crooked grin in place.

"Just be glad you can't read my thoughts."

**¹Taken from New Moon by Stephenie Meyer**

**Ah, yes, my corny ending ^^ **

**I REALLY HOPED YOU GUYS ENJOYED MY STORY, AND I WANT YOU TO KNOW, YOU GUYS MADE ME HAPPY WHEN NO ONE ELSE COULD!!! (Seriously, without writing I don't know where I'd be O.o, that's why my parent's ban hit me so hard)**

**Please tell me what you thought of the story:**

**REVIEW ONE LAST TIME!!! (please! ^^')**

**And here it is…………. THE LAST:**

Things I wanted to write, but I restrained myself from:

Part I: It's No Surprise-

**1.**

Okay, so he's smart, caring, strong, and looks like a Greek god, he left didn't he? So what! I'm sure I'll be able to find another Vegetarian Vampire with bronze hair and a crooked smile that can read other people's minds for me and is willing to spend all night watching me sleep and take me to meadows so we can sit in each other's presence.

"Bella! Stop hitting your head against the wall, you're hurting yourself!"

"I WANT MY EDWARD BACK!!!!!!"

Reason why not: Er, she might get a concussion ^^

**2.**

"No." I sobbed at her response. "He was downright miserable when he left. Every day he'd play "Welcome to my Life" at full volume. Esme was able to beat him at X box. And he began to play "She loves me, She loves me not"…….with his CD's. When he left you, he was even worse than he'd been before he met you, I mean, back then he only played emo music every Friday night when he didn't have a date."

Reason why not: I was afraid I would offend people -_- (HEY! I love Simple Plan, Fall Out Boy, and Flyleaf. I don't care if you call me emo ^^)

Part II: That in the End-

**1.**

"Excuse me, sir!" The nurse called in a squeaky voice behind me. _"Just cuz he's too smexy for his shirt, doesn't mean he can waltz right in here!" _I turned to look at the nurse and was shocked when I saw a fat balding man in his 30's, instead of a young female right out of medical school. "Um…visiting hours are over." _"But you can stay with me if you like! ……I'm so lonely…"_

Slowly, very slowly, I backed away and sprinted up the stairs once I hit the door.

Reason why not: Is that not disturbing or what?! O.o

**2.**

"I'm sorry, Edward, I can't." I sighed.

"Well, I'm sorry Bella, I have no choice but to resort to plan B." With that I proceeded to lift her above my shoulders and I jumped out the window.

"AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! I'm BEING KIDNAPPED!!!" I'd only gotten a mile away before Alice, Carlisle, and the rest of the family cornered me.

"Edward! Stop that, put her down!"

"NO! SHE'S MINE!" I shifted her to my back, and prepared myself to climb up the tree. "Hold on Spider Monkey."

Reason why not: The only reason I came up with that idea is because I thought that part from the movie was just as ridiculous XD

Part III: It's Our Choices That Matter-

EDITED OUT:

"Okay Bella, just tell me what you see in the ink blots." Today was Jasper's, or should I say Dr. Perjas's, first session with me and he decided we'd start it off easy.

"Porcupine."

"Right, and this one?"

"Porcupines mating."

"…sure, this one?"

"Porcupines roasting over an open fire…they come with their own toothpicks you know."

"……yeah….last one."

"A business man talking on his cell phone…about porcupines."

Jasper nodded, and began scribbling down notes on his pad of paper.

"Whatcha writing, Jasper?"

"Oh…'Serious mental problem and Edward should buy her a porcupine for Christmas.'"

"Why would you say that?"

Reason why not: ………I just like porcupines ^^

NOTE- Though this says complete, I'm prob gonna add another deleted scene I just didn't have time to write in this chapter (Whenever I'm not too busy I'll get to it.....or unless I hit 150 reviews, WINK WINK XD)


End file.
